Never Stop Smiling
by V-Vendetta
Summary: What if Naruto was taken by the Joker at 5 and taught the wonders and joys of smiling all the time? Watch as he takes the ninja world by storm. Naruto x Ino, Dark! Naruto! Vengeful! Ino! Rated M for lemons, cursing, blood, character death
1. The Laughing Ace

He looks up from his book, clasping it shut before giving a smile* Oh, hello there! As you all know, I simply go by V. This story is simply an idea that I've had running rampant in my head for a few days, so I've decided to give it a whirl. Let's see where it goes, shall we?

-V

* * *

"Get the fuck out of here, scum!" A villager yelled in his drunken stupor, throwing a bottle at a young child with sun kissed hair, tan skin and three whisker marks on either side of his cheeks. The boy in question was the mere age of five, having lived on the streets for a year now. His name was Naruto Uzumaki, and he was the current pariah of his beloved village, the Hidden Leaf. Five years ago the Nine Tailed Fox attacked the village in a blind rage, only for the Fourth Hokage to stop it by sealing it within young Naruto, at the cost of his life. Hence that day, Naruto was then marked as the Nine Tails jinchuriki.

He was often chased by one or thirty villagers, some ninja accompanying them as well. But the crafty boy managed to escape serious harm most of the time. One out of ten times he would end up in the hospital, only to be discharged the same day. He didn't know what made him heal so fast, but he was grateful for it. His life in the village was about to be thrown upside down, tossed in the washer with said washer thrown in a tornado, with the washer finally coming out twisted and a different washer entirely.*

"Get the demon!" Another villager called out, a small mob forming upon the young boy. Naruto looked behind him and uttered a small curse that no five year old should know, but nevertheless, the boy plowed on, turning in an alleyway only to bump into someone. Landing with a small 'oof'. He gazed up to see a male in a purple dress suit, a flower on the left side, white gloves and a green vest underneath the dress jacket. The male had striking green hair, a pale white face, almost if someone covered it in white paint, black eye shadow over his eyes, red lipstick over his mouth, with lips being stretched into a wide grin.

"Eh? What the?" The male asked, turning around to gaze at the boy. "Get lost, kid!" However, the male saw the mob turning into the alley way, his beady green eyes gazing down at the small boy, connecting the dots. His eyebrows furrowed in slight anger at the thought of someone beating this kid, before a facade of calm indifference crossed his features. He knew what it was like to be beat, and he had seen the kid around the village a few times, begging for food. The male supposed he could lend a helping hand, or some explosives. He clapped his hands together, his grin seemingly to grow bigger. "Ah, hello there compadres! Glad you could join the party!"

"Get out of here, clown. We got unfinished business with the kid." The leader called out, alcohol deep on his breath.

The male faked an image of hurt, as he placed a hand at his chest. "Why, that was rather rude of you. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" He nudged Naruto behind him with his foot, the boy watching in shock. Someone was standing up for him? The mob squeezed into the alleyway, before the clown like man held out his hand. "Put her there partner!" The drunken male gazed down at the hand in confusion, before shaking it hesitantly. The next moment electricity lit up the small alleyway, as the smell of burning flesh reached everyone's nostrils. The male dropped the dead body before his grin grew. "Would anyone else like to shake?"

The mob stared at the man in fear before they all vanished, stumbling and pushing each other over, trying to get away. Once they were gone, the male turned and crouched down next to Naruto, extending a hand. "No way!" The five year old cried out indignantly, crossing his arms. "I saw what you did to that bad man. I'm not fallin' for it."

The male let out a laugh, one that was high pitched. "You're a sharp cookie, kid. What's your name?"

"N...Naruto. Why did you help me?"

"Because kid, I used to be like you. Abused and neglected. Then I gained shrugged it off and began to smile. And look, I can't stop smiling!" The male pointed to his mouth, showing his wide permanent grin.

"Thank you...what is your name?" Naruto inquired.

"My name? Why young Naruto, I'm the Joker!" The clown like man identified himself, before putting away his buzz shocker, stowing it away in his pocket. "And I would like to train you. To teach you to never stop smiling, no matter what. Would you like that? I could teach you to be a force to be reckoned with!" He held out his hand, eyes shining with delight when Naruto grasped it. "You'll be like a son to me, Naruto." The Joker promised. "Now, let's get out of this village, eh?"

"But...what about the old man?" Naruto questioned.

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure the 'old man' will be just fine without you. Besides, he has the village to look after right? He surely won't mind if you go on a vacation." The Joker reasoned, manipulating the small child. Naruto nodded and the Joker's grin widened. "Alright then, let us be off!" The two then left the village under the cover of night, the Joker knocking out anyone who crossed his path with his trusty crowbar. That night, Naruto Uzumaki's life was thrown upside down, thrown in the washer, with the washer going through a twister and coming out demented and twisted, a brand new washer!

XxXx

_11 years later_

Kakashi and Asuma exchanged glances, watching as a clone of Zabuza Momochi slowly stalked towards their genin teams, Team Seven and Team Ten, respectively. It was supposed to be a simple C rank mission, escort a bridge builder by the name of Tazuna back to his home in Wave Country, help him finish the bridge then leave. They never said anything about encountering chunin level ninja, or jounin. The Demon Brothers, Gozu and Meizu were easy enough to handle, but Zabuza Momochi was on an entirely different level. The only reason they continued onward was due to the stubborn determination of one member on Kakashi's team named Shogo Kita, who was teammates with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. Shogo insisted they continue and that nothing could deter them, and that they could handle anything in their way. The boy had spunk, but his loud mouth has gotten him into trouble more times than naught.

"Heh, seems that your brats are going to die." Zabuza chuckled out, watching his clone still walk towards them with a calm easiness, knowing that with the jounin taken care of, the genin and bridge builder were of no concern.

"Sasuke, what do we do?" Sakura whispered out, watching the Uchiha. She was a founding fangirl of the Uchiha fanclub that started up in the academy, quickly gaining a rival in her ex-best friend, Ino Yamanaka. She gripped a kunai in her hand, shaking at the sight of the Zabuza clone steadily approaching closer.

"Shikamaru, do you think you can stop the clone with your jutsu?" Sasuke asked, turning to gaze at the lazy genius. Normally, Sasuke wouldn't even bother for help, but it was a matter of life and death as of right now. The boy in question let out a quiet sigh as he contemplated the distance between themselves and the clone.

"Not at this distance. Whenever he gets closer, maybe. But it's iffy." Came the slow reply, as Shikamaru analyzed his opponent. His two teammates, Choji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka were guarding Tazuna along with Sakura and Sasuke. However, Choji looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment, and Ino looked close to fainting.

The clone withdrew his sword from behind his back, gripping it tightly within his hands as he began to charge at the group of genin, the sword dragging behind him, tearing up the ground. "Prepare to die!" He roared, quickly approaching before swinging the sword upwards to effectively dispose of the bridge builder and the genin. However before the sword could get halfway into the swing, a cannonball came out of nowhere, dislodging the sword from the clone's grasp and making both explode into a shower of water.

"What the?" Sasuke uttered out, looking around. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Zabuza was equally surprised, gazing around for the unseen opponent. He peered up into the trees to where his accomplice would be, only to see no one in sight. "Oh, that can't be good." He muttered out, quickly creating two more clones that went straight for the target, only to be wiped out by a piano and a cart. "What the hell?" The jounin kept his cool for the moment, surveying the area. In the distance he spotted a shadow and quickly threw a kunai at said shadow, only for the kunai to be engulfed by the shadow, and returned as a fireball. Zabuza jumped over the fireball and cursed, "This is getting ridiculous. Show yourself, coward!" The sound of someone coming up out of the water behind him caused the 'Demon of the Hidden Mist' to turn around quick enough to give any normal civilian whiplash. The jounin struck out with his sword, only for it to be countered with a crowbar. Zabuza's eyes widened slightly as he stared at his opponent. "You...?!"

His opponent's eyes danced from behind his mask as he quickly pushed Zabuza back, a clone tripping him while another scissor kicked him into the water, effectively releasing Kakashi and Asuma. "What the? Who's that?" Sakura asked, peering out through the fog. The mystery man put away his crowbar before walking over to pick up Zabuza's, grunting under the sword's weight.

"Mm. Heavier than you used to be." The voice stated, before it broke out into a laugh. Kakashi and Asuma stared as Zabuza launched out of the water with such rage, they feared for the stranger. "Oh come on Zabuza. Surely you can do better than that?" He taunted, vaulting over the missing Mist ninja. "Hell, even Haku did better than you're doing right now! Sadly to say, she's currently...disposed of."

"So that means she's not coming back?" Zabuza turned around, slamming his fist into the male's face, only for the body to vanish in a puff of smoke.

"Bingo. She's dead, mate. And you could have prevented that." The male said nonchalantly, striking Zabuza twice in the midsection.

"Stop clowning around!" Zabuza roared out, only for water to be sprayed in his face. He let out a growl of irritation, swinging and kicking before he backflipped away. "That's it! I'm going to drown you, you clown!" He quickly began to go through handsigns, cackling like mad all the while he did it.

"Uhm. Leaf-san?" The voice questioned, the male turning to Kakashi and Asuma. "You guys may want to grab your genin and get up to a tall tree." The male then turned back to Zabuza, the meat cleaver like sword embedded in the ground. "Let's see if you can get your sword back, Zaby-poo." The voice taunted, causing Zabuza to speed up the handseals.

Kakashi and Asuma appeared next to the bridge builder, "You heard the man. Let's move." Kakashi said seriously, grabbing onto the bridge builder and Sakura, while a clone gripped Sasuke and Shogo by the shoulder. Team Ten followed suit, the two squads from the Hidden Leaf village safe in a tree. "Asuma...was that who I think it was?" Everyone gazed outward as the fog lifted, showing the male and Zabuza locked in combat.

The male was wearing a painted clown mask, something so simple, yet so frighting. Painted white with red lips where the boy's mouth would be, and two eyeholes for him to see out of. That was it, yet that seemed to strike fear in Zabuza's heart. The male had a long flowing purple trench coat, black slacks and standard combat boots. Underneath the trench coat he had a mesh shirt underneath an armored vest, standard chunin or jounin vest. The blonde's sun kissed hair jutted out from behind the mask, giving Kakashi and Asuma further suspicions as to who their mystery man was.

"My memory is fuzzy, but I think so." Asuma agreed, scratching his head in a confused manner.

"Who, Asuma-sensei? Who are you talking about?" Ino questioned. However, her question fell on deaf ears as Zabuza finally finished his attack.

"Water Style: Great Tsunami Jutsu!" Zabuza called out, the lake behind him rushing forward to engulf the mystery opponent. The waves rushed forward, washing over the opponent and sweeping him away. "See? I told you I was gonna drown you." Zabuza panted out, the jutsu taking quite a bit of chakra out of him. He walked forward, only to trip as a hand erupted out of the ground, pulling him down to his shoulders, his neck and head still jutting out of the ground. The mystery man popped out with a grin, Zabuza's eyes widening. "Why won't you just die?"

"Oh come on, Zaby. You gotta know it'll take more than a small wave to kill me." He shrugged, electricity sparking in his hand, dancing from his finger tips.

"Please, not that jutsu!" Zabuza cried out.

"Sorry, Zaby. It seems that your ship is sailing. You should have taken my offer two years back." Without another thought, the male clasped his hand down upon Zabuza's head, electrocuting him and blinding the nearby ninja due to how much electricity there was. His jutsu done, the male pulled back and shoved his hand into his pocket, turning away from the head and whistling to himself.

"What...what is this guy?" Shikamaru muttered out, his eyes wide.

"Oh my God!" Sakura whispered, a hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

"Holy shit." Choji breathed out.

"Is...is that clown make-up?" Ino wondered.

"So, it is him." Kakashi confirmed.

"Seems so." Asuma agreed.

Sasuke stared down at the face of Zabuza Momochi, the bandages gone from his face. The jounin's face remained relatively normal, except there was now bright red lipstick on the male's lips, his mouth stretched into a huge grin. "What in the hell?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't you all just love my handy-work?" The male from before questioned, causing Ino and Sakura to shriek, as he was right behind him. Seeing Kakashi and Asuma draw their weapons, the male put up his hands in a friendly gesture. "Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you. Besides, why would I wanna hurt Smoky the Bear, and Inu the Dog?" Kakashi's eyes widened, as the male grinned widely. "Yep. I remember you, Kakashi Hatake."

"N...Nar-?" Kakashi started hesitantly, only for the man to hold up his index finger and 'shush' Kakashi, further confusing him. Where was the blonde child he used to watch that was a mere five years old, and who was this teenager in front of him? Was this really the male simply known as 'The Laughing Ace' in their bingo book? What happened to him?

"Oh, I don't use that name anymore, Hatake. I simply prefer Smiley. I mean, as you can see, I love smiling and I prefer to make others smile as well!" The boy gave a small chuckle, mirth in his eyes. The rest of the genin were wondering if this boy was delusional, psychotic or just weird.

"I. Are you going to try to stop us?" Ino questioned, speaking up after a moment. She wished she hadn't said anything when his piercing blue eyes gazed upon her, before flickering back to Kakashi.

"Oh, no. I have no reason to harm any of you. Zabuza and me just had an old score to settle is all." The boy shrugged, before leaping out of the tree. "Perhaps I'll see you around, sometime, Leaf ninja." The boy then proceeded to laugh a hyena like laugh, said laugh alternating in pitch and tone before it ended on a high note. The mercenary known as 'The Laughing Ace' simply disappeared in a cloud of green and purple, leaving the ninja from the Hidden Leaf alone with the body of Zabuza Momochi. No one noticed the absence of his sword either.

"Well...that was troublesome." Shikamaru let out a yawn, and everyone else could only agree.

* * *

The whole washer in a tornado thing was my attempt at being...clever. It didn't work. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter of 'Never Stop Smiling'.

-V


	2. Smiley pays a visit

And welcome back to Never Stop Smiling. I appreciate the feedback this story has received so far, and I hope I do not disappoint!

-V

* * *

"Sensei, just who was that guy?" Sakura asked, the question burning in the genin's mind since the man known as 'The Laughing Ace' disappeared. He was completely terrifying, everyone agreed, but they couldn't help the curiosity that arisen after encountering him.

Kakashi looked over at his student, the eight ninja surrounding Tazuna, their client, as they continued towards his home. He breathed out a short sigh, wondering how to explain himself. However, it appeared he didn't have to, as Ino spoke up.

"'The Laughing Ace' as the bingo book calls him, is a mercenary and a wild card. Not much is known about him except for his presumed age, which is from 14-18, and that he appeared four years ago. Since that time, he's completed 0 D-rank, 55 C rank, 10 B rank, 1 A rank and 1 S rank mission. He was said to have had a mentor from which he got his clown like persona from, but that part isn't exactly known. Other than that, the man is a mystery." Ino explained.

"And how would you know this, Ino-pig?" Sakura looked at her rival, crossing her arms.

"Well billboard brow, I am training to go into the Interrogation department back at home as soon as I become a chunin, so I have to know everyone in the bingo book." Ino replied haughtily, turning her nose up at the pinkette. Sakura merely frowned at Ino's behavior, dismissing it out of her mind.

"That's correct Ino and I'm proud of you for knowing that information." Asuma said with a smile, causing Ino to smile at her sensei. "However, that doesn't mean you have to shove it in other people's faces, especially your comrades." The smile quickly faded from her face, as she nodded. "But that still doesn't explain what he was doing saving our asses, considering on how close Zabuza came to skinning them." He chewed on his cigarette in thought, as the group entered the small town of Wave Country.

"Well," Kakashi rubbed his chin in thought before responding, "he did say that he and Zabuza had some unfinished business, and that Zabuza should have taken the offer two years back." Now if only we could find out what that offer was." He shrugged, giving an eye-smile, "Oh well, it seems that we'll never know!" The genin of Team Seven let out a groan at their sensei's attitude, while Team Ten merely rolled their eyes at the lazy jounin.

"Is this what it's like all the time?" Shogo asked, seeing the distraught and downtrodden faces of the inhabitants of the small town, offering an apple to a kid and his mother, smiling as they ate.

"Yes." Tazuna said solemnly. "Gato has been ruling over this town with an iron fist for about three years now."

"And no one could stop him?" Sasuke implored, raising an eyebrow.

"One tried and failed, being executed publicly for doing so." Tazuna replied, pushing his straw hat down over his eyes in an attempt to hide the tears that were building up.

'_So, whoever was publicly executed was close to Tazuna...a family member?' _Shikamaru wondered, gazing at their client as his mind raced to fit the pieces together of the very incomplete puzzle. The lazy Nara put it to the back of his mind, as they continued through the town.

"Publicly executed? That's horrible! But don't worry, we'll stop this Gato guy, you can count on us!" Shogo said with a grin, causing Tazuna to smile slightly at the kid's enthusiasm.

"Let's hope so, kid." Tazuna grunted out, as they finally made it to his house. While the Leaf ninja were getting settled down for the time being while their mission was still underway, a certain mercenary was in Wave Country, sitting in a bar waiting for his client.

The man known as 'The Laughing Ace' or 'Smiley' had his trench coat draped over his chair, right leg crossed over the left in a bored manner as he stirred his coffee. He didn't detest tea, but his mentor taught him the joys of coffee, the caffeinated drink helping him on long nights, or when he was extremely tired. He smiled fondly behind his mask, at the few memories that surfaced within his mind at the man who taught him all he knew.

_Start flashback_

_"Alright Naruto, this is the first part of your training. Learning to laugh at almost anything! The pain of others, death, destruction and chaos. Oh, it's so wonderful!" The Joker cackled, rubbing his hands together. "See, just watch!" Pulling out his playing card, the Clown Prince of Crime expertly threw it, impaling a squirrel with deadly accuracy, before issuing a small giggle. "Wasn't that funny?" _

_Naruto offered a small smile, shrugging. "I suppose. But...wouldn't explosives or something be better?" He rubbed under his nose, suddenly shy when the Joker's green eyes gleamed with interest. "I mean, I was a prankster back in the village, despite being five. I decided to get back at the villagers for the beatings, so I painted their clothes, tagged their walls, or made a few toilets explode." Naruto admitted._

_"Oh Naruto, you're going to become a force to be reckoned with, just you wait! As for the explosives, let's see what 'ol Joker's got in his bag full of goodies!" The clown replied with glee, pulling out a courier's bag as he began to pull out an assortment of gadgets and gizmos. "Nope, not that." A fish flew out, landing on the ground. "Nu uh." A rubber duck, followed by a 'BANG!' flag. "Zilch." A boxing glove attached to a spring that was quickly joined by a pie that had frosting on top, said frosting steaming slightly. Naruto was curious as to what it was, but paid it no attention as Joker thrust something within his hands. "Ah ha! Found something just for you, kiddo!" Naruto looked down to gaze upon the deadly grin of the homemade grenade, painted in the Joker's visage. "Well, try it out. Just pull the pin and throw!" Joker instructed. _

_Naruto looked hesitant before doing as was told, giving it a small throw. His five year old arm wasn't quite long enough, nor strong enough, so the grenade landing at least a foot away. His eyes widened, as he started to run, only for the Joker to grab his wrist and hold him back. "Joker?" Naruto blinked, fearing for the explosion that was sure to come. However, the Joker merely grinned and pointed. The grenade didn't do anything, just lay there in the ground. "...Where's the boom?" The five year old questioned. _

_"Well, I think it may be a dud. Let the Clown Prince of Crime give it a swing!" The Joker then proceeded to pull out a golf club from his bag, complete with a golfer's cap before he walked over to the grenade. He got in a ridiculous stance, shaking his butt slightly before rearing back and swinging the club at the grenade. Said grenade flew off into the air, landing somewhere in the forest before an explosion rocked the air and surrounding woods. "Aha, see? Just needed a good swing!" The Joker began to cackle, Naruto soon joining in, trying to mimic the clown. "Now, how about we go test it on some people?" Joker asked, his hands clasped together. Seeing young Naruto pull out a grenade with a deadly grin, Joker's own lips soon matched Naruto's. Oh, they would have fun together! Chaos, destruction and fire! _

_End flashback _

Smiley looked up from his coffee to see a man with a briefcase sit down across from him. His cerulean blue eyes boring into the man's sunglasses, the clown like mercenary watched as the man shifted slightly in his seat. "Ahem...Mr...Smiley?" The man asked hesitantly, straightening his tie. The mercenary merely nodded, jutting a finger upwards to point at the red smile painted on his mask. The client nodded, opening the briefcase and sliding it over to him. "I wish to get rid of this man. You see, I work for Gato and it appears that Zabuza has fallen to the enemy ninja protecting him, his partner as well. Would you be interested in taking Zabuza's cut, as well as 1,000 ryo more? You see, this bridge builder is a thorn in my boss's side and has to be taken care of."

Smiley nodded, hands clasped together as he regarded the man with a critical eye. _'Gato will probably try to eliminate me as soon as the job is done, so why not kill two birds, a pig, and a whole lot of guys at the same time? I think my plan will work better for me.' _He grinned underneath his mask as he nodded. "Sure, I'll help 'ol Gato out! Where do I sign?"

"Oh, you have no need to sign. Just merely follow me back to Gato hideout so you two can discuss business together." The man assured, sticking out his hand. "So, we have a deal?" Smiley's eyes seemed to light up with glee at the outstretched hand, so the man quickly considered retracting it, only for Smiley's hand to grip his own painfully. "Sir...you're hurting me."

"And this is where you start to laugh." Smiley rebutted, a small wisp of gas escaping from his glove, the man inhaling on the colorless odor. He pulled his hand back, retrieving his trench coat and sliding it on before closing the brief case and storing it away in a storage scroll, shoving the scroll into his pocket. Strapping Zabuza's sword to his back, Smiley proceeded to search the man, the man unable to resist. Having found the man's GPS communicator and lit up Gato's hideout like a beacon, Smiley grinned to himself. "Pleasure doing business with you, chump." He clapped the man on the back before leaving, whistling a small tune to himself. Leaving practically unseen, everyone in the bar turned to the man in the corner who began to unexpectedly laugh, which grew higher and higher until the man fell back in his chair, a permanent grin on his face. The last breath the man drew was with the last laugh that left his body. "Oh Gato, you should never send pawns to do your dirty work. That is just...detestable." Smiley's voice went from cheerful to one filled with malice, before he began to chuckle to himself. "That will just make this oh so much more fun." In a quick swirl of purple and green gas, the mercenary was gone, heading towards Gato's hideout.

XxXx

Kakashi shivered, Asuma catching his eye. "What is it?" The one-eyed jounin was currently on crutches, while the two were overseeing the genin's training. Every member of Team Seven and Team Ten were doing the tree walking exercise. Well, every member except for Ino and Sakura, whose chakra reserves were so small, that they could obtain the perfect balance of chakra needed for the exercise. So the two kunoichi/fangirls were currently trying their hand at water walking, only to find out it wasn't as easy as tree climbing.

"Well, I just got the feeling that things were about to get a lot more complicated than they needed to be. Or at least for Gato. Something." The Copy-Cat ninja replied, shrugging. Asuma gave him a deadpan stare at the cryptic answer, to which Kakashi eye-smiled. "It's probably nothing."

Meanwhile, Ino and Sakura were growing increasingly frustrated with the whole water walking exercise. They could only walk out a few steps, only to get submerged within the chilled water, having to go upon shore and try again. "This whole thing is ridiculous." Ino growled out, squeezing water from her hair.

"You're telling me, Ino-pig." Sakura agreed.

"You're right, I am." Ino replied, sticking her tongue out at the pinkette. The two quickly butted heads, growling at one another as electricity sparked between their eyes. "Just admit it, bilboard brow! Sasuke will never see you for he only sees me!"

"As if, pig! It's practically the opposite. I mean, I am on his team after all!" Sakura rebutted, the two breaking apart as they heard clapping to their immediate right. Turning, the two saw the man from before: The Laughing Ace.

"To be honest girls, you're both very pretty, but I'm rooting for the blonde if either of you have a chance with the emo you're going for." Smiley piped out. "But by all means, do continue your little fight. It's very interesting to watch." Ino blushed slightly, only for their training to kick in. Within moments they had their kunai drawn, sliding into defensive stances. He put up his hands in a peaceful gesture, "Whoa whoa. I merely wish to talk. Well, not so much to you, pinkey."

Sakura flushed, growling in anger. "And what's wrong with me?!"

"Well, you're not my type. Loud, annoying, fawning over someone who won't give you the time of day." Smiley ticked off his reasons on his fingers.

"Yeah, but Ino-pig does that too!" Sakura protested, wondering why he was bantering with them.

"This is true," Smiley agreed as he nodded, "but I actually think she can be changed for the better. If you or her took your training seriously, you guys might actually stand a chance at getting his affection. But enough about that." He quickly appeared behind Sakura and knocked her out, laying her down on the ground gently. Standing back up, he pushed his left arm outwards, deflecting Ino's kunai before putting her in a chokehold, his leg intertwined with hers to keep her from moving, "Now now blondie. Keep calm. I merely wish to talk as I said before."

"What do you want?" Ino gritted out, her teeth clenched. She was in the hands of the enemy, a psychotic enemy who took pleasure in others pain, and laughed about it.

"Well for one, I wish to know your name." The statement caught her off guard, as her eyes widened. "Mine's Smiley, pleasure to meet you." He said in a cheerful manner.

"I'm not telling you anything!" She whispered out, defiance shining in her eyes. Smiley let out a chuckle his voice reaching her ear.

"It's not nice to be rude. Didn't mommy and daddy teach you any manners?" He questioned, curiosity in his voice. "I'm being completely honest. I wish to know about you. Because if I remember correctly from my past, despite how fuzzy it may be, I think you're Ino Yamanaka, correct?"

"I...how in the hell?" She bit her lip, wondering how he knew.

"Well you see, I have friends in all sorts of places. A small boy knew you and considered you his one true friend before he was killed. His name was Naruto Uzumaki. You may not remember him at all, you both were five at the time, so who would? Anyways, I do believe some boys were picking on you and the pink one, and he helped you out, ne?"

Ino remembered that day as his words reached her ears. Three small boys were picking on her and Sakura in the park, and that boy came to defend them, even getting in a brawl with them. The boy, Naruto came out on top, giving a foxy smile before happily introducing himself to the two. She smiled lightly, remembering his happy attitude. "He's dead?" She whispered out, frowning suddenly as the rest of his words registered in her mind.

"Yep. I tried to help the boy, I truly did. But he just didn't want to keep on living." Smiley said sadly with a shrug. He released Ino, stepping back as she turned around to look at him. The purple trench coat from before was gone, replaced with a purple belt. She rose an eyebrow, silently demanding an explanation as to why he was here. He coughed slightly, clasping his hands together. "I have some news that you need to pass on to your...teachers." He said after a moment of silence.

"Which is what? You're going to try to kill the bridge builder?" She asked, crossing her arms in a huff.

"Considering how Gato's man came to me and hired me, I could very well do that." Her eyes widened at his response, her instincts urging her to run. "However, I'm not going to." Smiley said with a shrug.

"Why not? He's paying you, right?" She inquired.

"Oh yes, he is. Quite a huge sum to. But I'm merely going to wait it out. It's obvious what I'm going to do, isn't it?" He crossed his arms, his arms muscular and toned. Not hulking or veiny, but strong enough and big enough to get by with. He was toned and lithe, keeping quick on his feet, as most ninja were supposed to be.

"You're going to betray him?" She said after a moment, the pieces falling into place.

Smiley snapped his fingers and laughed. "Bingo, kiddo! Of course, he may be expecting it but that's besides the point. He's giving me until the end of the week to kill the old man. So I'm giving you all a week to hurry up and finish the damn bridge. On the last day however, he'll probably send some mercenaries out to this place, to which I will graciously step in and save the day. But on the off chance that he actually goes to the bridge himself with his cronies, I will be willing to strike there as well. Thankfully I can create multiple copies of myself. Isn't that neat? So many heists or explosions, and all by mere copies!" He laughed again, grinning underneath his mask.

Ino shivered slightly at the thought of that many Smiley's before nodding. "Thank you for the intel. I will tell my sensei." She confirmed before stepping back slightly.

"Good, do so. I will see you in six days time then. Unless you'd rather meet up before that? Maybe have a nice little chat over some tea or coffee?" He offered.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. Was this mercenary really asking her to come back to this spot and chat? Was he serious? Then again, he was psychotic, so maybe he was. She watched as he effortlessly walked out onto the water, holding his own weight above the lake, chuckling. "You can do that?"

"Oh yes. I can teach you, if you wish. I can teach you quite a few tricks!" He offered, appearing beside her once more. "So, how about it, blondie?"

She contemplated it for a moment, chewing on her lip. _'I could try to get more information out of him by doing so, and I'm sure that Asuma and Kakashi won't mind, so long as I don't try to fraternize with him too much. Or, potentially try to join him.' _After a moment, she nodded. "Alright, we'll meet back here tomorrow night, got it?"

"It's a date!" He replied cheerfully, and before she could refuse or tell him otherwise, the male disappeared.

Ino shook her head, rubbing her temples. "Oh, this isn't going to be good." She muttered to herself. "Ino, what are you doing?" She let out a sigh, watching as Sakura regained consciousness. She turned and started to walk back with her to their sensei's, intent on telling them what had occurred.

XxXx

"So, you're saying that the mercenary known as 'The Laughing Ace' or as 'Smiley' wants you to meet him tomorrow night for water walking and talking? And you agreed?" Kakashi asked Ino seriously, his eye on her.

"Yes, I did. I figured it would be a good way to get more information out of him. Besides I mean, look at what he's told us so far." Ino argued.

"What if he's lying? What if he's leading you or us into a trap? Then what, Ino?" Shikamaru drawled out lazily.

"Then it will be on me." Ino crossed her arms, glaring at her teammate. "I think there is some truth to his words. I don't know how much, but I think there's some."

Asuma rubbed his goatee in thought, exhaling the cigarette smoke that was engulfed in his mouth. "I trust you, Ino. That's why I'm going to let you do this. Consider this a test of trust, and a B rank mission. I'll pay you when this is all over with." Kakashi and Team Seven, along with Choji and Shikamaru stared at him in disbelief, while Ino merely nodded.

"Hai, Asuma-Sensei!" She bowed lowly, "Thank you for this chance."

"Don't mention in. Now, I think we should all hit the hay in preparation for the bridge to be built, and Ino's own mission." Asuma said, turning around and walking away, ending the conversation.

Kakashi regarded Ino with a critical eye before turning away as well. "Come on guys, you heard Asuma." Team Seven left, leaving Shikamaru and Choji alone with Ino.

"Ino...just be careful, will you?" Choji asked, staring at his long time friend.

Ino nodded with a smile, "Don't worry, Choji. I will be." Her gaze turned to Shikamaru, who was staring at her, analyzing her. "Shika?"

"This whole thing is a drag. But if it means getting information out of the creep, then do so. But you better be careful, and I mean it." The male said lazily with a small smirk, his 'older brother' mode kicking in. Ino nodded once more with a grin. Team Ten slowly left the area, while the cerulean blues of a certain mercenary watched the whole scene unfold right before him, before he vanished once more.

"Seems like everything is going according to plan." Smiley mused to himself, checking his equipment. "Grenades, smoke bombs and laughing gas? Check. Rocket launchers and chakra pills? Check. Hm...what else am I forgetting? There's got to be something...Oh! Three cups of instant ramen? Double check!" He let out a small giggle, going to prepare dinner for himself.

* * *

Well, what did you all think of this series of developments? The Wave Arc will be completed by the next chapter, and I hope you all will be satisfied with this one for now. Ja ne!

-V


	3. Smiley forgets to smile

V: And welcome back to 'Never Stop Smiling'. I do hope you all have been waiting patiently for this next chapter like good little boys and girls, eh? *grins widely* Hm. Who should roll the disclaimer? Hm, hm, hm. *taps his chin before snapping his fingers* Oh! How about good 'ol Mistah J?

Joker: Gladly! V here doesn't own anything of Naruto nor of myself. Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, and I to DC. Now, let's have some laughs!

V: Well you heard 'em! Let's have some laughs!

* * *

The birds were chirping, the sun was just beginning to fall, the moon slowly rotating to this side of the world and the sound of laughter split the air, followed by an explosion. The laughter rose in octave and continued, the male holding his sides. Eventually he stopped, raising his mask up to wipe away a stray tear. "Oh, that was beautiful." He clapped at his handy work, making sure he had all of his supplies before leaving, whistling a small tune to himself, acting completely oblivious to the smoldering remains of the house he just destroyed. "Hopefully that'll get Gato off my back about the bridge builder." He murmured lowly to himself, shoving his hands into his pockets. A grin crossed his features as he slapped a hand to his mask, "Oh that's right! I gotta get ready for the training date thingy tonight with blondie!" Five days had passed since Smiley had first told Ino of Gato's plan. That meant they only had one more day until Gato came for the bridge builder himself.

Said kunoichi sneezed slightly, promptly falling into the water. "Oh god damn it!" She sniffed and swam back to shore, sighing in irritation.

"Y'know, if you sneeze, it means someone's talking about you." Sakura pointed out, walking out steadily onto the water.

"Whatever, forehead." Ino ignored her, trying to focus chakra into her feet. She found the amount, slowly joining the other kunoichi out onto the water, both making wobbly, hesitant steps. "I think we've finally mastered it." She said with a grin, gazing at Sakura. Sakura stuck her tongue out, giving a peace sign with her fingers, only for a something to land in the water beside them. "What was that?" Ino questioned, only for Sakura to shrug. She ignored it, only for an explosion to send up a giant wave towards them, causing them to lose their balance. "Argh, what the hell?" She cursed out, both swimming to shore.

"I don't know, Ino-pig, but it's pissing me off." Sakura agreed, eyebrow twitching in irritation.

The sound of a fuse going off reached their ears, both looking up to see a small firecracker land in the water like before, creating a wave that just soaked them a moment ago. A small giggle followed after the explosion, as Ino and Sakura turned to see the infamous clown like mask of Smiley, who was staring at them from his crouched position in the tree. "Hiya!" He offered a small wave, eerily reminiscent to Kakashi, two fingers raised in greeting as he waved.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Sakura growled out, cracking her knuckles. "I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind, clown!" She threatened.

"Now now, that wouldn't be very nice!" He taunted. "Don't you remember what happened to Zabuza?" The memory of the rogue ninja's face surfaced in their minds, as Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. His eyes lit up with glee as he nodded, "Thought so!" He said in a sing-song voice.

"I uh, I'm going to go catch up with Sasuke-kun, Ino. C-catch ya later." She stammered out, rushing off as she left the two alone.

"Aw, I didn't get to say goodbye." Smiley said in a pouty voice, before dropping out of the tree. He was wearing a simple purple dress shirt, normal jounin pants and combat boots. He bounced on the balls of his feet slightly as he looked at Ino. "Soooo, ready to actually succeed in the water walking?"

"I had it before you showed up!" She retorted.

"Right, and I can fly." Smiley snorted, walking past her. He started to walk out onto the surface of the lake, turning back to face her. He motioned for her. "Let's see if you can get to me. If you can, then you get this map." He pulled out a map and chuckled, "Gato's base." He explained, seeing her slight confusion. Ino nodded afterwards, determination on her face. She sighed and focused once more, before walking out onto the surface of the water. She was halfway to Smiley when he noticed it. The slight rising of the water, and the lack of her not noticing it, therefore she lost her balance and almost fell into the water. Well, almost, had it not been for Smiley holding her up by her waist. "See? You didn't have it at all." She blushed at the close proximity between the two, before Smiley let her go, sure that she had her balance once more.

"Thanks." She murmured, biting her lip slightly. She wobbled forward, inching her way towards him once more. She breathed out a sigh of relief after reaching him, holding her hand out expectantly. Seeing him make no attempt to move she frowned, "The map?"

"What map?" Smiley questioned, tilting his head slightly.

"The map that has Gato's location on it!" She replied with a huff.

Smiley rubbed his chin before snapping his fingers. "Oh! You mean this!" He pulled out a piece of paper and laughed, "Yeah, that wasn't a map. That was just a napkin from lunch."

Ino facepalmed and let out a sigh of irritation, a tick forming on her forehead. "Why would you need a napkin from lunch at a time like this? And why lie to me?"

"In case I needed a napkin from lunch." He shrugged before giggling, "I didn't lie to you, blondie! I just said that so you would have a goal to actually master the water walking exercise! Duh." He proceeded to pocket the napkin, jumping back from her shove. "Hey now blondie, there's an idea! Now that you have water _walking _down, we can learn water _running_." Seeing her deadpan stare, he grinned underneath the mask. "What? It was a good pun. Can you keep up?" He quickly kicked water up in her eyes before taking off in a light jog.

"OH YOU ARE SO DEAD, CLOWN!" She roared, preparing to take off after him only to take a few steps forward...and promptly fall in. She resurfaced and spit out the water, glaring up at him while he held his sides from laughing so hard. Her eyebrow twitched in irritation as she huffed, heaving herself up onto the dock. '_You're lucky you got a good voice and a somewhat memorizing laugh, clown boy.' _She thought to herself, eyeing him. She sat on the dock, dangling her legs off the edge, looking up when he approached and stood only a few inches from her. Blushing at the close proximity again, she stammered out, "W-what?"

He didn't reply, merely pulled out a GPS and put it in her hands. "That is how you'll find Gato's location." He said with seriousness in his voice.

"What happened to laughing and smiling all the time?" Ino teased.

He shrugged, "My mentor may have been forced to permanently be happy, but it gets so droll and boring trying to laugh at things that don't bring joy into your life!" He waved his hands about in a dramatic manner, plopping down beside her with a sigh. "I think after killing all of Gato's thugs, I'll show him something to smile about." He rubbed his hands together, a short chuckle that escaped his lips. "Oh yes, that will be perfect!" He giggled, eyes alight with glee.

Ino inched away slightly, eyes wide at her 'sensei's actions, before getting used to it. She let out a bored sigh before nudging him with her side. "C'mon Smiley. Got any more intel?"

Her green eyes met his cerulean hues before they flickered upwards to the sky. "Perhaps I do, or maybe I'm leading you on a wild goose chase. Ever consider that, blondie?" He murmured.

"Yes, I did. However at this point, I don't care. What I do care about is finding out ways to take down Gato and ensure that this village gets thriving again. I mean, have you seen the way these people live?"

"Yes, I have. And it's quite...hilarious." He said after a moment's pause, giving a cackle. His response caused Ino to rear back and aim a punch towards his head, only for him to shunshin to the very start of the docks, away from her. He stood in an aloof manner, his hands in his pockets as the moonlight shone down upon them. She jumped to her feet, fists clenched.

"Take it back, clown!" She said in a low tone, eyes alight with fury.

"Or, I won't." He shrugged. "You gotta learn to see the bright side of any situation. There are millions of people inhabiting this great big world of ours, and you think this country is the only one suffering? Wake up! There will be others like Gato, people who seek to cause harm and poverty among others. And no matter what, just force a grin and cause yourself to laugh. It's easier that way."

"How can you say that?" Ino whispered, hugging herself. "It's not right to laugh at other's misfortune." Her eyes widened as he appeared behind her, her back pressed up against her chest.

"Be that as it may, blondie, no one was there for Naruto Uzumaki when he was suffering. Everyone laughed at his pain and right before he died, he entrusted me to show everyone from the Leaf the error of their ways." Smiley lied, his mouth next to her ear. He didn't plan on manipulating the girl like Joker did to Harley Quinn, oh no. He wanted to mold her into what she was meant to be since birth: A dangerous, compatible opponent that deserved to see the brightness in every situation. "He also considered you his one true friend before he passed on. Would you be willing to help me with this task?"

She hesitated slightly and considered his words. After minutes of silence she responded, "What would I have to do?"

Smiley's eyes widened from beneath his mask. She was actually willing to help? He was curious, so he asked. "Well, why would you be willing to help a mercenary that's hired to kill the bridge builder? Or well, me in general?"

"For Naruto. Even though I met him once and that was when I was five, he had good intentions. I just wish that things could have been different and that someone helped save him." She whispered, forgetting that when they first encountered Smiley, Kakashi even asked Smiley point blank if he was indeed Naruto Uzumaki. Ino was probably too scared to even register the jounin's words, so Smiley had that o be thankful for.

"I'm sure you'll make him proud." Smiley said softly before issuing a small chuckle. "And all you have to do is see the bright things of life. Squash all those little negative emotions and focus on the bright! Focus on smiling no matter what and filter out all of the sad and depressing thoughts. Just shove all those little emotions into a bottle and proceed to throw it in the ocean, never to be seen from you again." He watched as she went silent, contemplating his words.

"I'll help you on one condition." Ino said, turning around to view him. His eyes shone with curiosity, prompting her to continue. "Take off your mask and let me see your face."

Smiley let out a cough, nearly backing up. "My...my face?" For the first time in a while he began to slightly panic. He knew genjutsu, but it was almost low chunin level, as opposed to his ninjutsu and taijutsu. He swallowed slightly and gave a sigh. '_Perhaps it's time to leave the mercenary life behind and return back to the village. But then again, having no ties to any village makes it easier to move around under the radar. However, I suppose she does deserve it for all that I've done for her. Lying and whatnot.' _

"Yes. I mean, it's not like you're hiding anything, are you?" Ino prompted, her hands on her hips. Smiley shook his head no, freezing up when her hand brushed across his mask, caressing the hardened material. Looking closely she saw the battle damage, the small nicks and scratches on the mask. Her hands wrapped around and grasped the mask, pulling it away from his face. As soon as her eyes fell upon the tan skin that was complete with whiskered cheeks, she stepped back with her hand to her mouth, the mask landing on the dock with a small clatter. She took another step back, before whispering out, "N..Naruto? But you said you died! What the hell?!"

"Naruto Uzumaki did die. I may have his name and wear his skin, but I am not the lovable boy everyone used to beat. Naruto Uzumaki was transformed into a man that wouldn't take abuse from anyone, learning to find the joys of laughter and chaos! Now, I never stop smiling." He explained, nudging the mask with his foot.

She hugged herself, shivering. "You were gone, all this time becoming a mercenary? When you could have returned home?"

"Returned home to what, Ino? A village that despises me and views me as a demon spawn? A village that wishes for my head every waking moment? No thanks, I'd rather keep living the life I am now. Free of any attachments to any village, doing as I please. The only people I really would have to worry about would be the Yakuza, and that's only if I piss off a certain branch." He shrugged, moving past her as he started to walk away.

"Wait, where the hell are you going?!" She whirled around, eyes staring at his receding back. She didn't want him to leave, especially not after finding him since his disappearance. Granted, she only had met him once as a kid, but the damnable blonde with whiskers would pop up in her dreams occasionally, leaving her to question who the boy was.

"Going back to Gato's place. And if you're lucky, I'll be back again to whip you into better shape. Besides, we can't have you looking weak or pathetic for the Uchiha, now can we?" With that said, the blonde haired mercenary disappeared, vanishing into thin air.

Ino bit her lip as she looked up at the sky and sighed. "I'm sorry, Naruto..." She took a step forward, her foot grazing the mask that was left with her. With a saddened look she bent down to pick up the mask, the souless eyeholes and grin taunting her. She shook her head as she tried to ignore the feeling of sadness that rose up inside of her. She had no reason to feel sad after all, I mean, he was just the enemy right? She returned to Tazuna's house, entering quietly, the mask hanging at her side.

"Welcome back, Ino. How did the mission go?" Asuma questioned, only to be taken aback by her blank face. "Ino, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Asuma-Sensei. The mission...is still ongoing. Me and Smiley are to meet up tomorrow night." She replied stiffly, laying the mask down at the table in front of Asuma before retiring to her bed. Asuma stared down at the mask, his unlit cigarette falling to the floor before he stared at where Ino once stood. He rubbed his goatee and sighed. It seems that Naruto Uzumaki decided to stop smiling for the time being.

Said blonde mercenary was currently walking into Gato's hideout, disgruntled and angry at the blonde kunoichi. Who was she to judge him, or to miss him? Hell, he had only defended her once! 11 years ago! He rubbed his temples, sensing a headache coming on and the approaching footsteps didn't help. He had just sat down into the expensive leather couch when Gato burst through the door. "Well?" He demanded.

"Well, what?" Naruto asked, raising a golden eyebrow.

"Did you succeed in your mission?" Spat out the millionaire magnet.

"No, whoever told me the location gave me the wrong address. Seems he relocated."

"Well locate him! Or would you rather my boys mess you up?" He jutted his pudgy thumb out to the samurai standing by, who proudly stepped forward.

"By all means, let's see him try." Naruto responded with a shrug, needing to relieve himself of some stress. He watched as the samurai unsheathed his katana before rushing forward with every intent of killing him in one blow. Blood flew through the air, splattering on the walls as the samurai crumpled in front of Naruto, who shunshined behind and delivered a swift, clean cut with Zabuza's sword. Swinging it around, he watched as the tip almost grazed Gato's nose. "Be careful who you fuck with, Gato. I'm not like Zabuza and I will take my time finishing you off if you double cross me. Wouldn't you agree, samurai?" He nudged the dead body with his foot, laughing slightly.

Gato swallowed as he straightened his tie. "Just see that you get the job done by tomorrow!" He spat out, before quickly leaving, his other bodyguard in tow.

Naruto plopped down with a content sigh, aiming his fingers in the form of a gun at Gato. "Don't you worry," He murmured. "I will." He pulled the trigger and half expected a flag to pop out of the end of his fingertip like Joker's gun did. He mused to himself slightly reminiscing on old times with the Clown Prince of Crime. His eyes getting heavy, the male slowly dozed off to sleep, ready for tomorrow night.

Gato, meanwhile had assembled every crony and thug he could find as he slammed his hands down upon his desk. "The bridge builder must die, otherwise that small little shithole of a town may actually attempt to rise up! He has to be crushed and it appears that the clown is taking his sweet time." He rose a hand up and pointed to two thugs, "You there...Bertrand and Hoffa, I want you two to go into town tomorrow and see if you can't get some answers! If you all aren't back by noon, I'm heading up to that bridge myself!" The two saluted, everyone dispersing from the room. Two cerulean eyes momentarily flashed red from above, as Naruto now had plans for tomorrow, besides Ino.

XxXx

The blonde kunoichi let out a sneeze, grumbling to herself about 'clown mercenaries' before rolling onto her side. The moonlight shone into the room as her mind wandered to the thoughts of the whiskered blonde. She shivered despite being perfectly warm underneath her covers. Was he only training her so he could teach her that only training could get Sasuke's attention? Was he potentially helping her out by giving her a boost to get closer to the Uchiha? She bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the feelings that surfaced in her. A part of her wanted nothing to do with the male, but the rest of her wanted _everything _to do with him. She wanted him to return back with them to the Leaf village so she could latch on and never let go. Or perhaps she could leave the village and join him, life on the run? She fell asleep that night thinking of the mercenary known as Naruto 'The Laughing Ace' Uzumaki.

XxXx

"Oh, you two are heavy boys aren't you?" Naruto grunted out, carrying the body over his shoulder, a clone carrying the other. "Oh well, nothing the sharks won't dispose of." He reasoned to himself, a grin crossing his features. Dumping them happily into the water, he watched as their bodies descended into the murky depths before disappearing completely. His deed done, he checked his watch, seeing the time as 11:30 AM. He had thirty minutes to warn the Leaf shinobi and kill Gato. However, he stopped dead in his tracks and quickly ducked behind into an alleyway, his gaze falling upon the broken and bloody body of the loudmouth of Team Seven: Shogo. He watched in silence as two men threw him to the ground, a sword finishing the job a moment later. "Well shit. This could put a damper on plans. Why does Gato have to be a party pooper?" He mumbled to himself, quickly creating a clone that was sent to collect the body. Once he had the body in a seal, he rushed off towards his normal meeting spot with Ino: the docks.

Arriving, the clown mercenary saw a small boy rushing towards two more samurai who held a woman hostage, presumably the boys mother. He was about to let the kid get sliced up for his stupidity, but something stirred inside of him. He shunshined in front of the boy and drew his crowbar, parrying with the first samurai before ducking under the next. Using his crowbar, he pulled the samurai towards him, quickly shoving a razor sharp playing card into his head before back flipping away. "What the hell? You're with us, aren't you?" The lone samurai called out, seeing his deceased partner. However, he didn't get an answer as Naruto appeared behind him and quickly snapped his neck.

"W...who are you?" The small boy asked.

"You can call me Smiley, kid." Naruto replied as he squatted down next to him. "Know where the ninja are at?"

"Yeah, they're all at the bridge save for the blonde girl." The boy answered. "She's at the house, sleeping. Apparently she over did it with training the night before." He watched as 'Smiley' got up and rushed off towards the house, confusion written on his face. Naruto entered the house, dodging a kunai as he held up his hands in surrender. He came face to face with Ino, who was holding another kunai at the ready.

"N..Naruto?" She called out, eyes widened.

"Gato's headed for the bridge, the loudmouth on Kakashi's team is dead. Let's go." He said in a hurry. She nodded, knowing the seriousness of the situation before tossing him his mask. He took it and chuckled slightly, putting it on, the 'permanent' grin on his face once more. They both rushed out, headed towards the bridge. "Go, I'll meet you there. I have to go collect some supplies." He finished the statement with a small giggle, and Ino knew it meant something that befitted his name of 'Smiley'. She nodded and continued onward.

Landing at the bridge, Ino gazed up at her sensei as they drew their weapons against the giant mass of thugs that stood at the other end of the bridge. Gato was standing there with his cane, a sudden look of pervertedness crossed his features. He licked his lips appreciatively before announcing, "Men! If you can kill the bridge builder and the male ninja, you all can have the women on their side and the women in the village as rewards!" The men jeered and cried out with victory.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" One asked out, drawing his sword before rushing forward. However he was stopped as a grenade landed next to him, followed by three more that landed in the crowd. "What the hell?" He exclaimed, eyes wide in shock as a purple mist began to dispense from the projectile. A sudden fog descended over the area, laughter slowly being heard.

Gato's eyes widened, as did the Leaf ninja's besides Ino, who let a small smile cross her face. The laughter grew in crescendo before the fog lifted, revealing Smiley in all his chaotic, demented glory. On his arm was a rocket launcher, pointed directly at Gato. Smiley continued to laugh, eyes wide with delight and bloodlust. "Open wide, Gato!" Smiley ordered, pulling the trigger. Everyone that wasn't affected by the laughing gas proceeded to scramble backwards, pushing Gato to the ground and trampling over him. In their fear, they never realized that no rocket was ever ejected from the weapon. "Whoops, must've been a fake." Smiley concluded, laughing once more as he appeared next to Gato in an instant.

"You backstabbing double crossing traitor!" Gato cursed, aiming a sloppily aimed strike at Smiley. The clown took it in stride, laughing all the while before he reared back with his giant weapon, slamming it into Gato who flew back near the end of the bridge. All of his thugs had either vanished or died, leaving him all alone. "Please don't kill me. For the love of God, don't kill me!" Gato begged, as he shakily proceeded to pull out three giant wads of cash. "Here, take your money! Will that do?" He tossed the money at Smiley who pocketed it, before Smiley sealed away the rocket launcher. "So, you'll let me live?" He let out a shaky laugh of relief. However, he began to sweat bullets when Smiley crouched beside him, pulling him in for a one armed hug.

Sasuke released a breath he didn't know he had been holding, gazing at the scene unfold before him with a hint of curiosity. Sakura was horrified at what had occurred, one thought it was a drag, one wanted to get out of there, two jounin were watching Smiley at work, and Ino was finding herself heating up at watching the mercenary work.

'_You've got to be fuckin' kiddin' me.' _She released a mental groan, feeling the slight dampness begin from behind her panties. She was falling for him! She bit her lip slightly, subconsciously rubbing her thighs together, which didn't go unnoticed by the pinkette.

'_She's...she's getting off on this? She's aroused by this homicidal maniac?' _Sakura thought with disgust, wanting to be far away from her ex best friend.

"Oh, I'll do better than let you live, Gato!" Smiley assured, malice thick within his words. He gave a sickenly sweet tone, clapping him on the shoulder. "You see, I'm so glad to work for you, that I want to leave you a parting gift, besides the gift of life."

"And what is that?" Gato asked hesitantly.

"The gift of smiling and laughing." Smiley responded, a cloud of gas exiting his glove once more, surrounding Gato's face. He rose from his crouched position, standing as Gato began to cough and splutter, before breaking out into a small fit of laughter.

"Are you kidding me? He kills his opponents by laughing them to death?" Sasuke asked with a deadpan, his eyebrow twitching.

"Apparently." Shikamaru replied with a critical gaze.

Everyone watched as Gato continued to laugh, tears running down his face. He desperately clawed at Smiley's pant leg, only for the mercenary to whistle a happy tune and count out his money. The millionaire that dabbled in prostitution, drug trade and ruled over the small village with an iron fist wheezed, trying to reincorporate oxygen back into his lungs, said organs going into overdrive. He looked up to the sky, eyes wide with fear as he continued to laugh.

"This guy is unbelievable." The bridge builder breathed out, eyes wide with shock. He shivered, suddenly very glad that Smiley had decided to double cross Gato. Finally, Gato breathed his last breath before falling onto his back, his lips stretched into a permanent grin, the light leaving his fear filled eyes, glazing over.

"Well, sayonara old chump!" Smiley gave a mock salute, kicking the body into the water before turning to the Leaf ninja, his hands within his pockets. "Kakashi-San?" He questioned.

"What is it, Smiley?" Kakashi asked wearily. While he and Asuma were at full strength, due to how unpredictable Smiley's arsenal and fighting style was, he doubted he could go toe-to-toe with him. He knew Smiley wasn't invincible or unbeatable, but Smiley was a wild card in every sense of the word.

"Well, I think it's time I return home to pay the old man a visit." The mercenary said in all seriousness. Everyone faceplanted, minus Kakashi and Asuma. "What? I'm being serious! I think it's time to give up the life of a mercenary!" Smiley whined, Ino imagining a pout from behind the mask.

"Well, seeing as how Shogo's apparently vanished, I suppose Team Seven will be needing a third member." Kakashi rubbed his chin.

"Oh hell no! No way am I working with a clown!" Sakura screeched out. Sasuke secretly agreed, remaining stoic and silent.

"Oh, Shogo? That was his name?" Smiley asked, pulling out a scroll. He tossed it to Kakashi who caught it. "Some of Gato's men got ahold of him and executed him a little bit before all of this went down. Least we can do is take him home and bury him." Smiley was a psychotic maniac, but it seemed that even he had some morals left. It seemed that not everything was as it seemed when it came to Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

Well, what did you all think of this chapter? I hope you all have enjoyed it! Ja ne!

-V


	4. The Birth of Quinn

V: And welcome back to 'Never Stop Smiling'. I do hope you all have been waiting patiently for this next chapter like good little homicidal maniacs! Oh, I do so love a good story. *claps his hands together excitedly* Now, may you please roll the disclaimer, Ino?

Ino: V doesn't own anything of Naruto or Joker. Naru-kun belongs to Kishimoto, while Joker belongs to DC.

V: Thanks, Ino! Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

The Third Hokage was not surprised by many things. Orochimaru preforming sick experiments on fellow shinobi in pursuit of immortality and the posession of all jutsu didn't surprise him, as there were already rumors circulating about him. Sasuke on a hellbent path of revenge against Itachi when Itachi murdered the Uchiha clan didn't surprise him. Seeing a mercenary that was accompanying Team Seven and Ten, while missing Shogo caused him to drop his pipe, eyes widening in shock. The cerulean blue eyes danced in amusement at the Kage, never dimming, even when the ANBU Black Ops surrounded him. He understood them not wanting to cause a scene in the village, and appreciated that. "So, it seems Smiley has decided to come to the Hidden Leaf Village. Why?" He clasped his hands in front of his face, his grey eyes boring into Smiley's. "ANBU, if he meant any harm, I'm sure he would have arrived in shackles by Kakashi and Asuma here. So, you can leave." Without a whisper, the ANBU left, leaving Team Seven and Ten alone with the Hokage and the clown like mercenary.

"Well, I figured it was time for a change of scenery, what with having completely destroyed Gato and making him smile for eternity. That, and it seemed that Cyclops here needed a new student. Or rather, someone to help teach his students." He chuckled, eyes widening with mirth. "Besides, I missed ya, Hokage jiji." The Hokage's eyes widened even more, as he stood up, the chair rolling back against the wall. The Hokage was shaking ever so slightly, looking older than ever. He turned to Kakashi and Asuma. "Hey Cyclops and Smoky, mind getting rid of the snot nosed brats?"

"Snot nosed brats? Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Sakura asked outraged, fist ready to strike.

"A bunch of snot nosed brats." Smiley replied cheerfully, watching as Sakura was dragged out by Shikamaru via a Shadow Possession Jutsu, Choji practically fleeing the room. Sasuke merely gave a small smirk at Sakura's outrage before leaving, Ino looking back at Smiley with hesitation, before she too left, the door closing behind her. The genin gone, Smiley's mask gave way to reveal Naruto Uzumaki, the Hokage sinking into his chair with a sigh. His hat was off, revealing the moles and wrinkled skin, like canyons formed by a river and years of erosion. Naruto turned a chair around, sinking down into it with his arms resting on the back. He observed the Hokage for a moment before speaking lowly, "Hello there, old man."

"Naruto. Where...where have you been after all this time? I've searched and searched, even having Jiriaya look for you. But you've been under the radar, gaining a name in the world of shinobi and crime bosses alike as Smiley. What happened?" His eyes expressed sorrow, and Naruto could only grin, the same sorrow reflecting in his eyes.

"I've changed. I was shown the joys of laughter and chaos by a man with clown make up that actually gave a damn about me. He made me into the psychotic mercenary I am today." Naruto's grin widened, only to fall at the Hokage's serious face. "Oh c'mon old man Jiji, it's not like anyone was hurt...much." He muttered the last part, a frown marring his usually bright countenance.

"Naruto, Smiley, whatever you wish to be called...you are technically a criminal." The Hokage said slowly.

"Uh, no." Naruto countered. "I'm a mercenary. I get paid to do jobs that normal shinobi wouldn't be allowed to do based on their connections with their respective villages. Without the mask, my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I hail from the Hidden Leaf village. However...when the mask comes on and I get to grin permanently like good 'ol Mistah J, I am called Smiley. Loving to spread laughter and grins all around!"

"While I do not approve...there is nothing I can do, is there?" The Hokage rose an eyebrow, eyes boring into Naruto's.

"Bingo!" He clicked his tongue and grinned wider. "Besides, I'm here to stay and Smiley will be on the run for a while, going from village to village, making money. In other words, I'm retiring for a little bit." Naruto shrugged, looking down at the mask with a fond smile.

_Start flashback_

_"So Naruto, when's your birthday?" Joker asked, gazing at him from behind the set of cards he held in his hand. He was currently teaching Naruto the art of his deadly throwing cards. _

_"October Tenth." Naruto replied simply, now nine years old. _

_"Ah, that's right. Silly me for forgetting!" The Joker slapped his hand upon his forehead, chuckling slightly. Naruto joined after a moment before the Joker leaned down to Naruto's eyelevel. "Say, October Tenth is right around the corner!" _

_"It's four months away." Naruto dryly replied._

_"Even so, brat!" Joker giggled and ruffled his hair. "Say, here's an idea! Those fancy ANBU masks the ninja are so fond of!" He quickly rummaged through his pockets (which seemed to hold an infinite amount of objects), before pulling out a blank ANBU mask with nothing on it. He put it on the ground and quickly pulled out a paintbrush and an artist's board, green, red and yellow on said board. He grinned and hummed to himself, completing the look with an artist's cap, painting on the mask. After several minutes he was done, "Viola! There ya go, Naruto! A bright, smiley mask for you to wear! Isn't it wonderful?" The Joker's grin widened, putting it on Naruto, laughing in amusement as the mask slid down half of his face, his bright blue eyes peering up at him from atop the mask. "A little big." He mused, pocketing the mask for later use._

_"Thank you, Joker." Naruto said with a huge grin. "And what was that you said? Smiley? I like the sounds of that!" _

_"Well forget your 'ol name then Naru...I mean Smiley!" Joker said, correcting himself and clasping his hands together. "Now, how about some target practice?" He grinned before handing Naruto a grenade. "Now just imagine spreading love, laughter and chaos for all to hear! Spreading that Christmas cheer." _

_"IT'S NOT EVEN NEAR CHRISTMAS!" Naruto argued, throwing his hands up in the air, waving them around like he didn't care._

_End flashback_

He stood up with a yawn. "So, Hokage-Jiji, is it possible for me to take Shogo's place on Kakashi's team?" He shoved his hands into his pockets, a bored look on his face.

The Hokage rubbed his chin and knew that a ton of paperwork was headed his way, along with a bitchy meeting with the council. "I'll see what I can do. What should I tell the council of where you've been?"

"Tell 'em I've been living in the sewers or something. Or that I was taken in by a loving circus clown." Naruto laughed shortly, throwing his head back.

"Naruto." The Hokage said abruptly.

"What is it?" The blonde questioned.

"Please, try to behave." The elder pleaded, to which Naruto nodded seriously, a grin never leaving his face. He rummaged through his drawers before producing a key. "This is the key to a small apartment near the..." He paused with a grimace, "shady part of Konoha, where most ANBU and shinobi don't bother to look at, nor trying to fix the problems there. Surely this won't be a problem?"

Naruto spread his hands out, intertwining them before popping his fingers loudly. "Oh, no problem at all. If you're lucky I'll be able to keep the drugs away from the kids, keep the orphans out of trouble and start a cozy little family of my own." He grinned, eyes flashing green momentarily, but the Hokage thought he imagined it.

"Keep the orphans out of trouble, drugs away from the kids, but do not start a 'cozy little family' of you're own, as you put it. That family may cause more trouble than good." The Hokage warned.

"Party pooper. No cake for you whenever I get some." Naruto pouted, before he nodded. "Alright then, that's fine. See you then, old man! Yoink!" He snatched the key out of his hand and saluted, albeit in a mocked manner before he disappeared in a small cloud of purple and green.

The Hokage then turned to Kakashi, weariness all over his face. "Well?"

"He's unpredictable, just like the Bingo Book states. Ino seems to have taken a liking to him, though. I do believe he'll make a good asset to the village so long as we keep an eye on him." Kakashi replied simply, eye gazing at the Hokage.

"Asuma?" The Third turned his gaze to his son.

"Kakashi's right. However, I would like Inoichi to preform a psychiatric evaluation on him. To see what this... 'Mistah J' did to him." Asuma advised, a chewed stump in his mouth, what was left of his cigarette.

"Very well. You all are dismissed. Go home. You and your teams have two days off. Kakashi, I wish for you to bring Naruto to training ground seven in the morning, understand?" The cyclops nodded, leaving the Hokage alone in his office. He rubbed a hand down his face tiredly, before a small grin crossed his weathered features. "It's good to have you back, Naruto."

XxXx

Naruto was currently walking towards his apartment, when a voice rang out. "Hey Whiskers!" He turned to see Ino Yamanaka running towards him, a grin plastered on her face. "Where ya goin'?" She questioned, eyes brimming with curiosity.

"Headed to my new apartment. Somewhere that isn't meant for a prideful and respectful shinobi of the Leaf. It's in the shadier parts of Konoha, but that's all Hokage-Jiji had available."

"Can I come with?" Ino asked.

"Lose the headband." Naruto stated, to which she quickly untied it and stowed it away for later. She quickly looped her arms with his and the two broke off for a run, heading towards his new house. She blushed and felt exhilarated, happy to be with him and happy to be alive! She didn't know what feelings she harbored for the blonde mercenary, but she would have her answer soon enough.

The two quickly arrived at Naruto's apartment, only to be surrounded by members of the local crime boss, Hiko Saragaki. She was on guard, noticing the looks she received from the men, but Naruto remained calm. "Who are you?" The leader of the group asked, looking at him. A grin grew on Naruto's face, as he chuckled slightly before slapping his hand against his knee.

"Why me? I'm known as 'The Laughing Ace'. Perhaps you've heard of me?" He asked in a sickly sweet voice, watching as the arrogance and bravado faded from their faces. "Now, I have a question. Who are you?"

"I...I'm a representative for Hiko Saragaki, the boss." He replied.

"Oh really? Well, what could he want with me?" Naruto questioned, the grin never leaving his face.

"Normally we would offer protection money, or the like. But with you, I'm sure he'll understand." He explained slowly.

"Why don't you take me and Quinn over here to see him?" Naruto asked. Ino looked at him for a moment at the nickname but kept quiet, knowing that this was a talk between a mercenary and a crime boss. They were led to his office, up an elevator and into his office on the top floor. The man in charge was sitting at his desk, writing papers when they sat down. "So, you're the man in charge, eh?"

"That's right. Hiko Saragaki at your service. And you are?" the man asked dryly. Ino took in his appearance. A man around 50, graying on the sides and a scar running down his left cheek. He was known for prostitution, running the drug ring and other activities. While the shinobi had no business in civilian affairs, there weren't any civilian police to handle the situation and they all left the criminals alone, hoping they would kill themselves out.

"Why as I told your representative before, I'm 'The Laughing Ace'. So, you've heard of me?" He asked after watching the color drain from the man's face.

"Oh yes, I have sir!" The man said in a show of respect.

"That's good. So, care to tell me why you were going to try to offer me protection to pay you?" Naruto asked calmly.

"Well you see, I have a business to run and like all businesses, I have a quota to meet by the end of the month." Hiko answered in the same tone. Internally he was sweating bullets. He knew what the man before him was capable of. Rumor had it that the mercenary came from the Hidden Leaf, but it wasn't confirmed.

"Be that as it may, I'm not the man you trifle with. Get me?" Naruto rose an eyebrow, seeing him nod. "Good!" His cheerfulness was back, but Hiko had a sense of dread. Naruto stood up and walked behind the desk, deflecting the knife Hiko pulled on him. With a 'snap', Hiko's hand was broken, but he stifled his tongue. Naruto clapped the man in a one armed hug, before slamming him down on the desk. "I think I'll be taking over. Sound good? I mean, it'd be a shame if you refused." Hiko found his courage and that's where he made his mistake.

"You think I'm afraid of you, clown? My men will tear you apart and then go after that blonde bitch!" He spat, only for the room to drop several degrees. He was lifted up by his shirt and unceremoniously thrown out the window, screaming all the way down to his demise. The door burst open as his henchmen rushed in, only to be met with a rocket launcher pointe at them.

"Ah ah ah. Don't try it, boys. In fact, you all work for me now. Anyone who doesn't like it, can kindly go meet the same fat as Hiko. Now, I believe it won't be a problem?" Naruto asked, his finger on the trigger.

"No, no sir!" They chorused.

"Good, good. Now, I want you all to go make Hiko's home ready for me when I leave the office today. Oh, and while you're out, you may go pick up some new clothes for me and Quinn here. You know how women get." He chuckled, ignoring Ino's look of fake anger. With a wave of his hand, the henchmen left, closing the doors behind them.

"Quinn, eh?" Ino questioned, her arms crossed under her chest.

"Well, yeah. It suits you." He shrugged, scratching his whiskered cheek. He suddenly found himself pushed up against the desk, her lips against his forcefully. He quickly got over the shock and wrapped his hands around her waist, deepening the kiss.

Ino grinned and grinded her hips against his, enjoying the moan she got out of him. She quickly pushed him further onto the desk and unzipped his pants, pulling them and his boxers down in one, staring at his length. 7 1/2 inches and just right in terms of girth. She licked her lips appreciatively before kissing him once more, her hand wrapping around his shaft. She whispered against his lips, "Come to Momma." Naruto merely groaned against her, his manhood throbbing in her warm hand.

After jerking him off and teasing her, she dropped her soaked panties and wiggled her ass at him. He gazed down, noticing the tuft of pubic hair surrounding her lips. She was about to make an excuse or something but Naruto held up his hand. "I love it, it's beautiful." He squatted down, spreading her folds and diving in, his tongue sliding in. She let out a moan, feeling his thumb rub her clit. He continued eating her out, her moans steadily growing in volume. She pouted and let out a huff, only to moan once more when his tongue was found licking her other hole. Her eyes widened momentarily, but she quickly lost herself to the pleasure she was receiving. He continued, rubbing and fingering her, grinning when she finally came. She breathed hard, chest heaving up and down as she came down from her high. However she didn't have time to fully recover when she felt the tip slide against her folds. "You ready?" He murmured in her ear, pressing more of his cock in. She nodded, biting her lip. The pleasure she was feeling was even better than when she and Sakura experimented, resulting in the loss of their virginity to the other.

"Naru-kun." She moaned, biting her lip as his length entered her, stretching her womanhood. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he began to slide in and out, slowly at first to let her get accustomed. However soon she was panting, wanting more. And so she told him. "Give me more, harder and faster!" She rasped out, tongue lolling about.

He complied, grabbing her hips and thrusting him, their hips meeting each time he slammed in. Her moans were music to his ears and he would give anything to keep them coming. He continued to thrust, a finger pushing it's way into her asshole. She gasped at the feeling, before overcome with pleasure, moaning louder and louder. He grunted, sweat covering both of their bodies as they continued to do the dirty deed.

Ino panted, pushing her hips back to meet his thrusts. She knew then and there during their love making that she wouldn't leave his side. She would gladly give up the life of a ninja to travel with him, as his partner in crime. She would help defend him and give her life to ensure that he was safe. She fell for the clown, becoming his partner in crime, his lover, his girlfriend, his mate. "I'm close, Naru-kun!" She whined out, feeling him speed up in his endeavor. Her walls clamped down upon him, as she came for the second time, letting out a moan of ecstasy and pleasure. He quickly preformed the birth control jutsu, before releasing his seed into her. She gasped, feeling the hotness as her lover filled her up. '_Thank Kami for birth control jutsu's. I don't want a kid just yet. Marriage, then kids.' _She nodded to herself, feeling him pull out, entirely spent. Her knees weak, she almost fell, only for Naruto to catch her. She nuzzled into his arms, murmuring, "Can we do that more often, Naru-kun?"

"Yes dear, we can. Mind coming with me to the new place for a shower?" He suggested, a grin on his face. Their lips met in a chastise kiss, before she moved down to nibble on his neck.

"No, I don't mind. So..does this mean we're a couple?" She whispered, suddenly very shy.

"Duh." He grinned, causing her to grin as well. He was Naruto Uzumaki, the mercenary that loved to spread chaotic cheer for all to hear. He loved to make people grin and laugh, and he suddenly found himself with a new partner in crime to help him spread that lovable chaotic cheer. He wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

Well, Naruto has effectively gained a psychotic girlfriend that will rival Harley, and he has managed to scare the thugs into working for him. What should happen next in Never Stop Smiling? Why, chaos of course! What happens when Naruto and Gaara meet? Well, something sweet. Hope you all enjoyed that lemon.

-V


	5. Do foxes and raccoon's get along?

V: And welcome back to 'Never Stop Smiling'. Have you all been waiting patiently, like kids waiting on Santa? I hope so! Naruto, roll the disclaimer!

Naruto: V doesn't own anything of Naruto or Joker. Naruto and Naruto related characters belong to Kishimoto, while Joker belongs to D.C.

V: Thanks! Have a laugh on me!

* * *

"Who's the blonde? Yeah, the one with the blood red and black trench coat? The high heel boots?" A voice murmured.

"That's the boss' girl. While she's a looker, she's also deadly and unpredictable. Best just to stay away from her and listen to her and the boss." Another replied, eyes on 'Quinn' as she walked towards Smiley's office.

She had changed from her normal purple attire, changing her wardrobe. She now wore a plain black T shirt, a black and blood red trench coat overtop, a black skirt with leggings, and black high heel boots. She had faint mascara on, very light purple eye-shadow and red fingernail polish on. Her lips were a dark purple, thanks to her lipstick. While she had changed her outfit, she couldn't manage to shake the purple off completely. She nodded slightly to the two henchmen that opened the doors for her, while one pressed the elevator door for her. Ren, Ryu, and Gen were their names, she thought. She shrugged and stepped into the elevator, humming to herself slightly. Exiting, she nodded to Vinny who opened Naruto's door for her, standing in silence as it closed behind her. Her lips curved up into a grin as she sashayed over to Naruto who was sitting at the desk, writing absentmindedly on a paper with his pen. She wrapped her hands around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. He grinned, leaning into her touch. "Whatcha up to, whiskers?"

"Finishing up some paperwork Vinny gave me." He grumbled, stretching out his palms, groaning as his fingers popped. "What's up with you, Quinn?"

Ino smiled and stroked his cheek, the two referring to each other as Smiley and Quinn when they were in the mob territory. "Just got done putting the finishing touches in our bedroom. I know you'll love it." She whispered in his ear, causing his grin to widen. "But it seems that Asuma-Sensei is calling Team Ten for some briefing, as are the other jounin. So, your sensei is probably looking all over for you."

"Damn. And here I was, wanting to relax." Smiley got up and put on his purple trench coat, holding out his hand, Quinn intertwining his with hers. With a small 'pop', the two vanished in purple and red smoke, heading towards the training grounds. Re-appearing, Naruto bid Ino goodbye with a small peck on the forehead, heading towards Training Ground Seven, while she went to Training Ground Ten. Spotting Sasuke and Sakura connected in a lip-lock, Naruto quickly pulled out a small firecracker and threw it towards the two, they being so engrossed with what they were doing, they nearly shat themselves when the firecracker went off. Sasuke scowled while Sakura blushed crazily, the two glaring at the laughing third member of their squad. "Next time, pay attention. You never know when there will be an enemy around." Naruto said in a sing-song voice.

"Like you? Besides, what are you even doing here?" Sasuke asked arrogantly.

"Why Sasu-gay, I'm you're new squad member." Naruto clapped his hands together, watching with delight as the color faded from his skin. "Isn't that great?"

"It's fantastic, right guys? We'll make Naruto here feel right at home." Kakashi said cheerfully, appearing out of thin air. "Now, I'm sure you won't mind if we start off with a light combat exercise? We need to see how well you'll work with the team." He eye-smiled, as Naruto nodded. "Alright then. Similar to how you two passed, there will be a set of bells attached to me and you must get them off using teamwork. Ready?" Seeing all three nod, he quickly fell into a combat stance. "And go!" He immediately dodged a laughing grenade from Naruto, a super-powered kick from Sakura that shattered the earth underneath, and a fireball jutsu courtesy of Sasuke. He deadpanned slightly, "This may be easier than I thought." Suddenly, Sasuke and Sakura were thrown at Kakashi, followed by a cannonball and a piano. Kakashi dodged the objects, eye wide. "Or...maybe not." He sweat dropped slightly, when Sasuke and Sakura disappeared into a cloud of smoke, the real one's appearing behind him, slashing at the bells. More grenades were thrown carelessly about, landing near Kakashi, or not at all, followed by a few rockets. "What is with him and explosions?" He muttered to himself, dodging a swipe from Naruto's crowbar and sword, countering with a kunai.

Another clone popped up beside Kakashi, along with two more, him being surrounded. "You give up?" Naruto asked. Kakashi gave him a clear look that screamed 'no', while Naruto merely grinned. "I was hoping you wouldn't. Sasuke, Sakura, now!" Sasuke quickly breathed out his infamous fireball jutsu, while Sakura kicked a tree towards Kakashi. Kakashi quickly substituted himself with a log, only for Naruto's sword to be at his throat. "The bells, if you will." He asked kindly. Kakashi felt his eyebrow twitch, handing them over after a moment. Something didn't seem right. "Thank you, kind sir!" He tossed the bells to Sasuke and Sakura, sheathing his sword.

"Alright, congrats guys. You passed. Now that that's out of the way, we can sign you up officially for the Chunin exams which are being held within a week's time. Here are your slips to sign up with. If you do sign up, meet me here tomorrow morning." Suddenly the Naruto next to him exploded, sending purple and green paint all over the two remaining members of Team Seven, Kakashi having gotten out of the way just in time. "And you may want to go find Naruto and tell him that's not how we celebrate." With an eye-smile and wave, the jounin disappeared.

"NARUTO!" The two cursed out, while the mercenary merely sneezed from his place near Training Ground Ten.

"They must have not liked the paint like I did." He giggled slightly, watching as Ino strolled up to him. "What's up, buttercup?" He asked, grinning widely at her.

"Just got done signing up for the Chunin exams. Yourself?" She asked, the two stepping into stride with each other. They were heading nowhere in the village, practically owning 1/4 of it due to Naruto being the head of the mob now.

"Oh it was fine. Settled right in with Kakashi's team after I blasted Duck butt and pinky with purple and green paint." He chuckled, while Ino giggled and tried to imagine the picture. "Pretty sure they're looking for me right now. Oh well." He shrugged, the two coming upon the scene of Sakura protesting with a male that looked like he was wearing pajamas, purple face paint and a giant wrapped object on his back, holding up a kid by his abnormally long scarf. "Oh, what's this?" He rubbed his hands together.

"Looks like fun." Ino whispered, as the two approached. Naruto noted the female with a giant fan across her back, the way she stared at him. He shuddered slightly, grinning at Ino's murderous glint in her eyes. "If she touches you..." She warned, mentally making ways to kill the female.

"Don't worry about it. So hey Pinky! Or...well...paint splatter, what's going on?" Naruto asked, standing next to Sakura. He dodged the punch from her, easily side-stepping.

"You asshole!" She swung at him again, only for Naruto to shunshin behind her. "As for what's going on, I was chasing Konohamaru around because he wanted me to, and he ran into this Sand ninja. Said asshole won't let him go." She explained.

"Oh really? Trying to strangle the life out of the honorable grandson?" Everyone stared at the man in the purple trench coat, who let out a shrug. "Go ahead, he ain't my kid." Sakura and the Sand ninja gaped at him, while Konohamaru looked like he was going to wet himself.

"Naruto! You asshole!" Sakura seethed, preparing to swing at him again, when a rock landed on the Sand ninja's head, causing him to drop the child. Konohamaru quickly ran off, not looking back. Everyone else meanwhile gazed up into the tree to view Sasuke holding a pebble, painted just like Sakura.

"You're quite a ways from home, yeah? And picking on kids? That'd be bad for the alliance we have with you." Sasuke smirked, before noticing Naruto and immediately scowling. "Hey clown boy, is there a way to get this off?"

"Yeah. Simply soak yourself in boiling hot water, peel your skin off, wait 30 minutes for the skin to dry, put it back on and wash gently with soap." Naruto said cheerfully, watching as everyone minus Ino stared at him in shock. "What? It worked for me!" He protested, shrugging his shoulders.

"This kid is insane." The boy with war paint muttered, only for the boy to appear in front of him, a huge grin on his face.

"Insane am I? Well, it's not nice to talk bad about strangers, y'know. However, since the red head is emitting quite a large amount of blood lust, I'll back off. No need for hostilities." Naruto chuckled and took a step back, as the unannounced redhead appeared in a whirlwind of sand. He had dark rings around his eyes, blood red hair, the kanji for love written on his forehead, and a huge gourd on his back. Taking a look at the boy, Naruto felt the fox stir slightly. "Uh, red?" Seeing the boy raise an irritated invisible eyebrow, Naruto grinned. "Do foxes and raccoon's get along?" Confusion was present on everyone's face, before realization dawned on the redhead's.

"I do believe so." He said after a moment. "What's your name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, at your service. And you are?" Naruto asked, chatting with the redhead as if they were old friends.

"Gaara of the Desert. These are my teammates, Kankuro and Temari. I apologize for the inconvenience we've caused. It won't happen again, or Kankuro will be six feet under." Gaara said calmly, arms crossed.

"See that it doesn't. Otherwise, if you don't get to him first, I will." Naruto warned, tossing a grenade up in the air. Gaara's lip twitched, before the three turned and started to walk away. Naruto stowed away the explosive and headed towards Ino, the two disappearing, leaving the two paint splattered genin of Team Seven to hang around.

"What the hell was that all about?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know, Sasuke-kun. I'm just gonna go home and try to get this paint off. Hopefully Naruto's suggestion wasn't real." She shivered at the thought, walking off towards her house. '_Why do all the freaks have to come here? Why can't I just marry Sasuke-kun and be normal?' _She sighed and headed home.

* * *

Well well, I know it's short, but this is just the build up for the sweet delicious cake known as the 'Forest of Carnage'. You'll see what I mean, but the title is pretty obvious, right?

-V


	6. Giant snakes, bears and tigers! Oh my!

V: Welcome back to Never Stop Smiling. This part will have the first of the Chunin exams, next chapter will have the second part and the start of the preliminary exams. :D Have fun. I own nothing of Naruto or Joker, Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, while Joker belongs to D.C.

* * *

"Come on, let us through!" A loud voice protested. Team Seven came upon the scene of a green clad ninja with a bowl cut being knocked to the ground, before a girl with buns in her hair helped him up. "Thank you, Tenten. I appreciate it."

"No problem, Lee. Let us through, you big jerks." She took a step forward, eyes wide in shock as a gloved hand blocked the guard's hand that was about to hit Tenten. "What the?"

"Now now, gentleman, it's not nice to hit women." Naruto wagged his index finger at the guards with a huge grin on his face. The guard's stepped back, instantly knowing who it was. "So Sakura, kindly dispel the genjutsu?" He craned his head back, Sakura nodding with a hesitant smile. She put up her hands, dispelling the genjutsu, revealing the floor they were on to be '201', instead of '301'. "Shall we continue, Sakura, Sasuke?" His two teammates strode forward and started to walk up the stairs, while Naruto released the Chunin's hand. "Now now sir, try not to strike anymore Leaf kunoichi, alright? I may have to get...nasty." His grin widened before he turned and walked away, following his teammates.

"Wait!" The loud mouth from before called out. Naruto and his teammates turned around. "Who are you?" His gaze seemed directed at Sasuke, the Uchiha's ego boosted.

"Sasuke Uchiha-" He was cut off by the Leaf ninja's hand being thrust in his face.

"Not you, Uchiha. We know all about you. The male in the purple." The male to the left replied in a cool voice. He wore the Leaf headband, had eyes like Hinata, so that made him a Hyuuga.

Sasuke scowled, while Naruto stepped forward with a bow. "Naruto Uzumaki at your service. How may I help?"

"Well, I just wanted to say thank you." Tenten stepped forward, holding her hand out. Naruto shook it curtly, offering a smile. "I'm Tenten. The one in green is Rock Lee, while the other is Neji Hyuuga. We hope you do well at the Chunin exams."

"Oh don't worry, we will." Sasuke said confidently.

"Unless you get a sudden case of the giggles." Naruto said with a wide grin and a chuckle.

"Shut up, clown!" Sakura seethed, raising her fist in warning, everyone on Team Seven knowing that she wouldn't do anything. She dropped her fist, before mumbling out, "Let's just go to room 301 already." The three made their way to said room, only to stop short as Kakashi greeted them. "Kakashi-Sensei?"

"Yup. I just came her to wish you all luck..and to tell Naruto to go easy on the other genin here." Kakashi gave the purple clad ninja an eye-smile, only to receive a far more deadlier one in return. "Or he can just bluntly disregard my information. Regardless, do your best in there." He opened the door, watching as all three walked past him. "Surely he won't destroy everyone?" Kakashi wondered.

The three were met with the hostile looks from various genin. Grass, Cloud, Rain, Sand, all of the surrounding villages and more came to Konoha for the Chunin exams. "What's up with the hostile looks?" Sakura whispered.

"Don't worry about it. They're trying to play the tough guy act." Sasuke assured, giving her a half smile. His hands were in his pockets, eyes surveying the crowd. No one stuck out in particular. Not unless you counted the Hyuuga from before. His eyes flickered to their insane teammate, his lips marring into a frown. He didn't know what made the guy so powerful, or why he loved to laugh and cause chaos. All he knew is that he was glad Naruto was on their side. "Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" He hissed out, watching as the blonde started to applaud the other genin.

"Oh, I'm merely giving congratulations to my fellow genin here." Naruto grinned and stopped, putting his hands into his pockets. "I'm sure they won't show their true abilities until later, but it won't matter. I'm sure 3/4 won't make it out alive." His grin widened, eyes shining with mirth. Few of the genin got shivers, just staring at the deluded blonde.

"What's all the ruckus? Oh, it's you, Naruto." Shikamaru drawled out, walking over to Team Seven. He let out a quiet sigh, "Are you done being insane?"

"Nah. I don't think he is." Ino smirked, walking over to him and planting a kiss on his cheek. She ignored the looks and hooked arms with him, grinning. "I think he's quite sane."

"Whatever you say, Ino." Choji munched on his chips, trying to ignore the two blondes.

"Hey hey, look at this. Konoha 11 back again!" A loud voice came from their left. A bark followed, before changing into a whine. "What is it, Akamaru? Oh, the new guy with Sasuke and Sakura? Nah, I'm sure he's friendly."

"Oh great, Kiba's here too?" Sakura's nose scrunched up as she gave a playful grin.

"Yeah, me and the rest of Team Eight are here. Of course the best would be here!" Kiba jutted a thumb at his chest, a feral grin on his face.

"Kiba, it would be best to not be cocky." A monotonous voice replied, Naruto watching as a boy with an overcoat and glasses approached. "Hello there, Uzumaki-san, my name is Shino Aburame. My teammates are Hinata Hyuuga and Kiba Inuzuka, along with Kiba's dog, Akamaru."

"Pleasure." Naruto replied curtly, blue eyes scanning the room. "I wonder what the competition will be like? Probably a lot of fun." His grin was back on his face, slightly unnerving Team Eight.

"What's with this guy?" Kiba whispered to Sakura.

"That's kinda hard to explain." She replied with a deadpan, and a small wave. "Just don't piss him off."

"And if we do?" Hinata wondered.

"You'll be smiling forever." Naruto quipped, leaning in close to Team Eight, watching as Hinata jumped back with an 'eep'.

"You all should probably keep it down. The other genin are getting angry." A new voice called out, everyone turning to view a male with grey hair, glasses and purple clothing. "Ah, so you like purple to?" He offered a smile at Naruto, only to blink in surprise at Naruto's frown. "What?"

"I don't like you." Naruto replied bluntly. "Who're you anyway?"

"Kabuto Yakushi." Came the answer, as Kabuto pushed his glasses up on his face. "I have information on everyone here, if you have questions, just ask. Well, information on everyone but you, clown boy."

"Clown boy? Why I'm insulted. Just call me Naruto." He held out his hand, Kabuto shaking it only to wince as Naruto started to squeeze painfully. "Got it?"

"Right, dully noted." Kabuto replied with an uneasy smile. "Want to see my cards?"

"Sure, why not?" Sasuke asked. "What do you have on Gaara of the Sand?"

"Gaara..." Kabuto muttered, looking at the card. "30 D ranks, 20 C ranks, 1 B rank, 0 A and S rank missions. But get this, he hasn't been hurt at all in any battle. He's always come out unscathed."

"Impressive." Naruto whistled. "Seems like quite the character." He shrugged, only for his eyes to flicker to the left at the call of the proctor.

"Alright maggots, settle down. As you can see, there are desks. Everyone sit your asses down." Ibiki Morino barked out. He spread the teams evenly through-out, Naruto sat near the front with Sakura and Sasuke behind him a few rows back. "Now, we'll be doing an old fashioned written test to test your knowledge. If you're caught cheating, you'll be disqualified. If you succeed, you all can pass onto the next part of the Chunin exams. As you can see, the other chunin here will administer the test alongside myself to gauge where you're at. You all pick up your pencils and begin!"

Thirty minutes had passed, the group being weeded down to at least half of the genin. Naruto was relaxing, his feet propped up onto his desk, pencil scratching furiously on the paper. He knew the point of the test was to gather intel by not getting caught, but he was a mercenary. He would usually blow shit up and call it a day. He grinned, continuing his doodle.

Ibiki watched with narrowed eyes, wondering what the blonde was up to. Naruto had written down five answers, gathering intel by using his headband as a reflective mirror, the cloth and metal resting to his right. But by the twenty-five minute mark, he had quit writing down the answers and had began to doodle instead. '_This kid is something else. Pretty powerful, if what the bingo book has on him is true.' _His lips curved up into a smirk, as Naruto set down his pencil. "Alright maggots, are you all ready for the tenth and final question?" Everyone looked up at him expectantly, as his smirk turned into a grin. "You all...pass!"

"What?!" Sakura screeched out. "There wasn't an answer to the tenth question?"

"Nope." Ibiki chuckled. "The point of this test was to see who could gather intel without getting caught and the ones who are remaining did well. Several of you did it in spectacular ways, whether it be jutsu, or blood lines. Some of you, in less spectacular ways...such as using your headband or a puppet." He gave a pointed look at Kankuro and Naruto, the blonde merely scratching his cheek. "However, I'm proud to say you all passed. Now, my teammate and apprentice, Anko Mitarashi will be your proctor for the next part of the Chunin exams." As if on cue, a giant ball crashed through the window and unrolled to reveal a banner and Anko.

"Why hello there!" Anko said cheerfully, the banner having her name in bright bold letters. "As you all know, I'm going to be your proctor for the next part, but before we do." She pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to Ibiki. "There's your damn money."

"I told you I would weed out half of them." Ibiki said cheerfully.

"Yeah well." Anko pouted, before jutting a finger out towards the window. "Follow me!" She jumped out, the genin following her. She led them to the area known as Training Ground 44, or the Forest of Death. Once she had their attention, she pulled out a pile of papers. "Alright everyone, be prepared to sign this, or grab your bags and start packing."

"What's this for?" A Sound ninja asked.

"Waiver forms. That way I won't be responsible for whatever happens to you in there. As you know, there are enemy ninja among you. In this forest there are also killer plants, giant tigers, snakes, bears."

"Giant tigers, snakes and bears? Oh my!" Naruto quipped up, giggling. The giggling continued until it broke out into a laugh as he deflected Anko's kunai, pressing against hers with his own. "Hey now, no need for violence. That's what the forest is for!" His lips were stretched out into a grin, as he pushed her back, stowing away his kunai.

"Whatever, chuckles." Anko grumbled and put her kunai away. "Alright, if you're ready to begin, go ahead and sign this." She passed out the papers, watching as everyone signed them. "You all will get a scroll, either heaven or earth. Your goal is to get the other scroll from another genin team then get to the tower into the center of the forest. You have five days." She passed out the scrolls, crossing her arms. "Good luck."

Naruto grinned, pocketing the heaven scroll he received, giving a look at Sasuke who looked like he was going to object. However, the Uchiha merely scoffed and looked away. He muttered, "I hope Ibiki likes my drawing."

Ibiki was currently picking up the papers, coming across Naruto's. On the drawing was the Clown Prince of Crime, himself and an unknown man dressed up in a bat like suit. They all were sporting huge grins, with 'One Big Batty Family' written across the top. He rose an eyebrow before putting it away with the others. "That's one weird kid." He muttered, going on his way.

* * *

Well, hopefully you enjoyed this chapter! Get ready for the next one!

-V


	7. The Forest of Carnage

I hope you all have missed me and this story! Get ready for the 'Forest of Carnage'!

-V

* * *

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto had been traveling for two days out of the five they were given and had yet to encounter any other ninja. Sasuke and Sakura were relived, but it seemed that Naruto was growing more and more restless for bloodlust. He had kept it at bay by setting off random firecrackers and giggling, imagining the death of any ninja that crossed their path. "Well, let's get started!" Naruto sat up instantly, a huge grin on his face.

"What the hell do you mean?" Sasuke asked, eyebrow raised. He was growing increasingly irritated with Naruto's antics and wished he would stop. However, due to Naruto being an formidable opponent, Sasuke was unsure if he could stop Naruto. He and Sakura exchanged bewildered glances when Naruto produced a belt of hand grenades. "Naruto..." He hesitated, "What are you doing?"

"I'm creating just a little bit of fun and entertainment. If they won't come to us, I'll go to them." With a cackle, he jumped up into the air and rushed off.

"Are we really going to follow?" Sakura asked, rolling her eyes in irritation as Sasuke followed. "Troublesome clown." She grumbled, jumping after her boyfriend. The two followed and watched as Naruto's laughing started and increased, explosions occurring through-out the forest. A certain Sand ninja picked up on this and began to chuckle lowly before it transformed into a maniacal laughter. Gaara of the Sand crossed his arms and stared out into the forest from his place on the balcony of the arena in the middle of the forest. His green eyes stared up at the rising columns of smoke, his heart beating in his chest.

"Good luck, clown. I'll be rooting for you." Gaara muttered before ceasing in his laughter.

"Naruto, stop it! All you're doing is attracting attention!" Sasuke ordered, only to dodge the bark of a fallen tree that was thrown at him. He narrowed his eyes, turning on his Sharingan before tackling Naruto to the ground, a grenade flying across the forest floor before exploding harmlessly. "Stop this." He growled out, pinning Naruto down.

"Oh get off me, Uchiha!" Naruto grinned, eyes alight with hidden fury. His fun was being ruined! He wouldn't let it be ruined! Not by this prissy boy of a ninja! He was spoiled, just like Wayne. He was the Joker, and Sasuke was Batman. His eyes widened as he began to cackle madly. He had found his eternal rival and he would now proceed to do what his mentor would have done in his place. He pulled out his crowbar and slammed it into Sasuke's head, watching as the male crumpled to the side in an unconscious heap. He jumped to his feet, dusting his hands off against his pants. "There we go, that's better!" He grinned before dodging Sakura's punch, waggling a finger. "Oh calm down pinky! I merely knocked him out. He was ruining my fun. You should keep an eye on him and I'll go snatch us a scroll!" He quickly knocked Sakura out before dragging his two teammates underneath a hole in a tree before promptly sitting down and pulling out his knife. He whistled a happy tune, lips spread into a grin as he took note of the six chakra signatures heading his way.

Three ninja were from the Sound, while the other three were from Rain. "Give us your scroll." The Sound leader demanded, reminding Naruto of a mummy.

"Back off, mummy man. We were here first." The Rain leader countered.

"Actually, you're both wrong. I was here first." Naruto commented, gaining incredulous looks from the two. He grinned and motioned them forward. "If you six really want the scroll that's in my pocket, then by all means, come at me." He pouted as the Sound ninja retreated before he returned to his old grinning self. "Well, since those three left, I guess they want you all to have the fun. So, shall we begin?" He clasped his hands together, his grin growing wider.

"Three against one?" The one to the right scoffed. He had bandages over his eyes, a defibrillator in his mouth as if it would help him breath underwater. "This'll be a piece of cake." The three took a step forward, with Naruto not moving a muscle. If this guy was eager to give him the scroll from his dead hands, they would gladly oblige him. "I'll handle this." He rushed toward Naruto in a burst of speed, dust trailing behind him before Naruto backflipped and threw a grenade down at him, landing on a tree branch. The Rain ninja was thrown back from the explosion, confused but relatively unharmed.

Naruto meanwhile had pulled out his crowbar in his left, drawing his katana in his right and blocked the two simultaneous attacks from the other two. "My, you two sure are trying to kill me." He giggled, suddenly relaxing his grip and moving his hands to his sides causing the two to stumble forward. The deadly prankster then used his crowbar to pull one close to him, slamming his knee into the Rain ninja's face. The lacky flew back before the leader threw several kunai and shuriken at Naruto who deflected them with his katana. "Oh come on, you all can surely do better than that?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow before throwing his sword up in the air and slamming his crowbar down on the leader's head before he jumped up into the air and kicked the sword down, watching as it impaled the one from the explosion.

The leader pulled out his umbrella followed by two more before he quickly preformed handseals, "Ninja art: Senbon rain storm!" The umbrellas flew into the air before senbon needles rained down from the sky, "Up, down, left, right, no matter where you are, they'll always hit...you?" He finished his victorious statement in a question, the clown like man not being seen in sight. He blinked, eyes wide. "Impossible! Where the hell could he have gone?" His answer was in the form of his teammate exploding in a shower of blood, gore and muscle, Naruto standing behind him laughing with his rocket launcher in hand. He stumbled, seeing him toss a grenade carelessly in the air. "Jesus, who the fuck are you? Why won't you just die?!" He rushed forward with a kunai, sinking the blade into the male's flesh, only for Naruto to disappear in a cloud of purple and green smoke.

"The question you should be asking yourself, is why aren't you handing me that scroll?" Naruto remarked, the grenade in hand, along with his crowbar.

"I...sure, yeah. Take it. Just let me live!" He pleaded, before tossing Naruto the scroll. Naruto took a look at it, and grinned. He and his teammates were in luck, they had just received the scroll they needed. He began to whistle 'Take me out to the ballgame' as he tossed the grenade up and down. "What the hell are you doing?" He questioned, taking a step back, only to bump into someone. He turned around and saw another Naruto, grinning just as madly as the other. "A clone?" He whispered, eyes wide. He turned his head back as Naruto batted the grande towards him and the clone, the pin hanging on Naruto's middle finger.

"Three strikes and you're outta here!" He remarked, laughing as the ninja exploded along with the clone. He continued to laugh, the sound ringing through-out the forest, prompting all who heard it to just stay where they all. A certain blonde heard and smiled, knowing that her boyfriend was doing what he loved best, before she rammed her kunai into her opponents throat.

"Ugh, what happened?" Sasuke grunted out, holding his head. He sat up and locked eyes with Naruto, a growl escaping his throat. "You bastard." He hissed out, eyes narrowed in anger.

"Oh, don't be such a puss." Naruto waved his hand dismissively at Sasuke. "Besides, I got us a scroll that we can pass with. So, cheer up!" He grinned, showing Sasuke the scroll.

"I...how the hell?" Sasuke blinked out in surprise.

"These guys." Came the simple reply.

"What guys?" Sasuke questioned, feeling uneasy.

"Oh you know. The guys that came and attacked me. They are now covering several trees and the forest floor." He grinned, pulling out his katana from the dead ninja's back. "Except for this guy. He kinda got stuck in the ground." He sheathed his sword and whistled. "So, shall we get going?"

"I don't think so." Came a reply, as three Grass ninja jumped into the area. "Now that Sasuke's awake, the fun can really begin."

"Fun? Fun? Oh, I love fun! Can I join in?" Naruto asked, eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, but held a deadly gleam in them as well.

"I suppose. Are you willing to sacrifice your teammates life?" The leader replied, her feminine eyes locked on Naruto.

"Oh sure! They're like babies. Cute to look at, but they get so annoying so you decide to feed them to the hyenas." Naruto grinned, causing Sasuke to glare at him with disgust. "So come on Sasu-gay, let's go say hey to the nice lady." Seeing him not move, Naruto pouted. "Fine, I'll go introduce myself." Naruto walked out and held out his hand. "Hi, what's your name?"

"My name? It's Marisu." The leader gripped his hand and they began to shake.

"Oh really? Well that's cute, Marisu." Naruto replied simply before exploding. Sasuke stared out in shock as the leader still stood, Naruto no where in sight. The Grass ninja's face was peeling off, only to reveal another face beneath. Her serpentine eyes gleamed with interest at Sasuke before her tongue came out and licked her lips.

"Seems the brat knew something was up. No matter, he's dead now. Alright you two, you're free to go." The two teammates dropped lifelessly to the ground, revealing themselves to be reanimated corpses. Sasuke gasped and drew his kunai, only for a massive killing intent to wash over him, causing the kunai to drop harmlessly to the ground. "It seems that your teammate left and now you're all mine, Sasuke-kun. You want revenge on Itachi, correct?"

"How the hell do you know about Itachi?" Sasuke asked in a harsh tone, eyes steeled.

"Because my name is Orochimaru, and I can grant you the power to defeat him. You may be an avenger, but can you do it with the way you are now? With all the attachments and ties to this village? I cut my ties years ago, and look at how powerful I have become."

Sasuke stood there with a shocked gaze. This legendary ninja, one of the three Sanin was offering him power to defeat Itachi. Would he do it? Would he take it? He clenched his fists before he made up his mind. With determination, he bent down and picked up his kunai before appearing before Orochimaru in a burst of speed, slashing at him. "No way in Hell! I'll defeat him with my own power, not with the help of someone like you!"

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and dodged all of Sasuke's attacks with ease, noticing that he was throwing more and more kunai at Orochimaru. However, they were all missing. So was was Sasuke up to? Orochimaru then found himself trapped by ninja wire with paper bombs all around them. Cackling was heard through-out the forest as Naruto re-appeared with his rocket launcher, firing it off at the ninja wire which exploded in a fiery ball, shooting up into air and alerting any nearby ninja. "Troublesome brat!" He hissed out, getting away at the last moment, trying to think of his next move. His eyes lit up as a new plan entered his mind. If Sasuke refused his power, perhaps this boy wouldn't...he was unpredictable, but he was powerful. Far more powerful than Sasuke.

"Where were you?" Sasuke asked, only to blink in surprise as Naruto dropped a giant snake head next to him.

"That scaly bastard decided to try to have me for lunch. However, he found out that side-effects of eating me is _explosive _diarrhea." Naruto grinned widely at his bad pun, chuckling loudly before it morphed into a laugh.

"Naruto, look out!" Sasuke warned, Naruto still laughing. Orochimaru appeared and extended his neck, sinking his teeth into Naruto's neck, who let out a grunt of pain.

"Since you refused my power, Sasuke, I decided to give it to someone who would use it." Orochimaru cooed out, a grin on his face. He quickly retracted his head, missing the swing from Naruto's crowbar. "You may hate me now, clown, but you'll grow to love me. They all do." He quickly jumped up into the trees and ran off, chuckling madly.

Naruto lowered his crowbar, his right hand clamped on his neck. "Fuckin' scaly bastard. You'll be next to blow up." He grumbled, frowning. "Hey, Sasuke, what did he do?"

"He bit you." Sasuke deadpanned before looking at the bite mark. An ace of spades appeared on Naruto's neck, two puncture holes in the middle. "Looks like some kind of mark. Feel anything?"

"Nope. Let's get pinky and let's get going to the tower!" Naruto replied cheerfully, although his neck felt as if it were on fire. Perhaps Kakashi-Sensei would know something?

As if on cue, Sakura sat up with a groan. "I'm going to kill you, Naruto." She grumbled, before taking in her surroundings. "Gross, what the hell happened?"

"Naruto happened/ I happened." Sasuke and Naruto replied simultaneously, one frowning, the other grinning.

"Okay then...did you get a scroll like you see you would?" Sakura's question was directed to Naruto, who merely nodded and held it up. "Thank god that's out of the way. Let's go, shall we?" The three nodded and left, heading towards the tower in the middle of the forest.

The three Sound ninja jumped down into the clearing before the leader spoke up, "Zaku, Kin, we got to be careful about the purple clad ninja. It seems Orochimaru-Sama has bestowed the gift to him, and now he will be more unpredictable than ever. Let's go." The three jumped up and followed after their target, leaving the spot that would rename the 'Forest of Death' to the 'Forest of Carnage'.

* * *

Well, hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter. And an interesting turn of events, ne? Naruto got the curse mark. I wonder what that will do to his already damaged mental state! R&R!

-V


	8. Sing me a song, birdie

I hope you all have missed me and this story! Who's ready for more laughter and bloodshed?

-V

* * *

"Are...you okay?" Sakura asked hesitantly, looking over at Naruto who was twitching and sweating. The male kept pulling out a grenade, before stuffing it back into his coat pocket, doing that number for about five minutes now. Whatever Orochimaru had done to him, it was slowly affecting him.

"Peachy. Couldn't be better. Let's just get to the tower, shall we?" He replied, the grin absent from his face for the moment. It felt like his neck was on fire, like his head was going to be smashed like a watermelon with a giant sledgehammer. He let out a low giggle of pain, before collapsing to his hands and knees.

"Naruto!" Sakura called out, landing beside him. Sasuke landed as well, feeling nothing but a sick sense of righteousness at the clown's pain. Naruto had been nothing but an annoyance, and could have gotten them killed on multiple occasions. He liked his explosives and to cause other's pain. And what's worse, Orochimaru had bestowed upon the clown some sort of mark. Who knew what it did? It could make Naruto more deadly, if it was originally intended for Sasuke. The Uchiha clenched his fists in anger as Sakura helped the clown up. Couldn't they just leave him there? He could handle himself.

"C'mon, it'll be okay. The tower's just up ahead." Sakura whispered soothingly. While she didn't like the clown at all, sympathizing or acting like she cared may win him over to their side, and stop the ridiculous pranks. Naruto wrenched himself out of her grasp, Sakura standing up with a confused look on her face. "What'd you do that for? I'm only trying to help!"

"I know, but we got company." He breathed out, peering up into the tree-tops. "C'mon out, maggots!" He let out a small chuckle when three ninja dropped down, their headbands identifying them from the Sound village, which was recently formed. "Ah, some Sound ninja? Mind if I use your vocal chords to make some music?" He asked, quickly launching forward and chucking his grenade at the three. The leader, who was wrapped up head to toe in bandages, save for his eyes merely waved his hand, the grenade flying off into the forest behind them, exploding harmlessly. "Oh, you got tricks? Me too!" Naruto opened his mouth to laugh, only to fall short and let out a scream of pain. Shortly after, he fell unconscious, a pained chuckle escaping his lips.

"What the hell did you do to the clown?" Sasuke asked, eyes narrowed. He was sizing up his opponents. The three didn't seem that strong, but it appeared they had a few aces up their sleeves. The leader obviously could control sound waves, and if so, is that would that others could do as well? It would be save to assume so, that they could.

"I merely sent out an air vibration into his ears, causing them to ring with such intensity that he passed out." The leader explained calmly. "Zaku, Kin, grab the target, will you?" The two launched forward, only for Sakura to deliver a vicious kick towards them, the ground tearing up with her super strength. "Seems you all wish to do this the hard way, eh?" He quickly stepped forward, only for Sasuke to block his path, his Sharingan blazing wildly.

"Try it." He commented, a smirk at his lips.

"Why do you defend him? You don't seem to like him very much." Dosu asked, eyes narrowed in thought.

"Be that as it may, he's a Leaf shinobi." Sasuke explained. "We defend our own."

"Well, surely you won't mind if we kill you to get to him, then?" Zaku asked, sending out a burst of air from two holes in his hands, sending Sasuke reeling before Dosu uppercut the Uchiha. Zaku was knocked off balance when Kin was thrown into her, Sakura sporting a few cuts along her body, thanks to Kin's senbon needles.

"Oh, we won't mind, if you can get to him first." Sakura smirked, her green eyes dancing, her veins filled with adrenaline. She and Sasuke jumped up into the air, using Sasuke as a spring board while the Uchiha quickly formed his handseals. She slammed down into Zaku, driving him into the ground, while Sasuke released his fireball jutsu, the flames shooting and narrowly missing Dosu and Kin.

The two landed, only to stop dead in their tracks as Dosu used his airwaves to damage their ears. Sakura let out a scream of pain, her voice echoing through-out the forest. Sasuke's Sharingan was deactivated, as he fell to his knees. His vision was swimming, the corners splotched with black circles. It seemed that unconsciousness was calling his name, only for Dosu to explode, causing his attack to stop. "W-what the hell?" He muttered out, blinking up trying to see who stopped the attack. He was greeted to the sight of Naruto standing there with his hand outstretched, his hair transforming from blonde to green, the mark on his neck pulsating.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt the party?" Naruto asked offhandedly, flexing his fingers. He felt powerful. More powerful than he had ever felt before. And it felt amazing. He quickly sidestepped Kin's senbon needles before vaulting over Zaku's attack. "If you two wish to dance, it may have to be the mamba! Cha cha cha cha cha CHA!" He slammed his crowbar down onto Kin's head after doing a little dance, dumbfounding the two into a state of confusion which gave him an opening. He quickly grabbed Kin around the neck and moved her in front of him, the two being blown back by Zaku's attack, only for Kin to suffer damage internally. She began to hack up blood, being pushed off by Naruto, the mercenary laughing loudly. "Now look at what you did. You hurt her." He said in a mocking tone.

"You bastard!" Zaku cursed out, rushing Naruto. The blonde merely dodged and countered his attacks, toying with him.

"What...what's going on?" Sakura asked, eyes wide with fear. The deadly Naruto she knew was now apparently even more deadly and insane. She shivered, hoping he would stop his onslaught soon.

"You guys go on ahead. Grab the scroll and go. I'll meet you at the tower!" Naruto said, elbowing Zaku in the back, slamming him down onto the ground. He quickly kicked a scroll to Sasuke who caught it with a slightly pained look on his face. It seemed that he was recovering from Dosu's attack. "Now go on kiddio's! Go and I'll be there to tuck you into bed." He let out a laugh, backflipping away from Zaku's kunai swipe.

"C'mon, Sakura." Sasuke said jumping up into the tree branches. Sakura looked on at Naruto before jumping up after her boyfriend after a moment of stillness.

"Perhaps I can use that to my advantage." Naruto muttered to himself, a grin stretching across his face.

"When I'm done with you, I'll go after those two. After I kill the Uchiha, I'll have my way with the pink bitch!" Zaku roared, slamming his air attack straight into Naruto. He chuckled, only to gasp in fear as his chuckles were drowned out by Naruto's far more sinister ones. He took a step back, the smoke revealing Naruto in his tattered trench coat, the grin still etched onto his face. "What? That should have wiped you out."

"Yeah well. This gift that Orochimaru gave me makes me feel pretty damn powerful. Powerful enough to take on your puny air attacks head on. Now, I do think I'll have some time to play with my food." He quickly rushed forward, slamming his fist into Zaku's head, sending the male reeling, before Naruto followed up by grabbing Zaku's shirt and kneeing him in the stomach. In his dazed state, Zaku briefly heard the crackle of lightning before all went black...only to awaken tied to a tree, a fire blazing brightly in front of him.

"Wh-where am I?" Zaku asked, struggling against his binds. His head was whipped to the side, as Naruto's hand came into view, followed by Naruto himself.

"You're in the Forest of Death." Naruto replied in a bored manner. "Or did I knock you out too hard? Knock a few marbles loose?" He quickly gripped Zaku by the chin, staring into his eyes. The effects of the curse seal had worn off, Naruto looking normal once more. "I wonder if I can shove them back in?" He let a grin cross his face, pulling out a single pebble.

"What are you-" Zaku never finished his sentence, roaring out in agony as the pebble was shoved forcefully into his left eye socket. He tried to focus on anything but the laughter reaching his ears. He wouldn't give the freak the satisfaction of him screaming anymore. Gritting his teeth, he clamped his mouth shut.

"Oh, not going to tweet your sweet melody anymore? Well well, birdie, looks like I'll have to clip your wings." From out of nowhere, Naruto pulled out a ginormous pair of shears, snapping them together in a menacing way.

"What the fuck do you want? You have the scroll!" Zaku asked in bewilderment, eye wide in fear.

"I want to hear you sing." Naruto said in a whisper, before giggling to himself. He quickly put the shears around Zaku's right ankle and pressed the handles together, the blades digging into the Sound ninja's skin. "Now sing, little birdie! Sing...'Mary had a Little Lamb. Here, I'll start it. Mary had a little lamb..."

"It's fleece was white as s-snow." Zaku mumbled, tears streaming down his face.

"And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. One day Mary went to school..." Naruto continued.

"And...and...line?" Zaku whispered, only to howl as he felt his right foot be dismembered from his body.

"Wrong answer, Zaku." He quickly slapped Zaku across the face two times, scowling. "Now, shall we try another song? Perhaps...Jack be nimble?"

"That's a nursery rhyme, not a song!" Zaku protested, only to have his left hand sheared off. "SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled out, blood flowing freely. He felt a burning sensation on both of his wounds, Naruto cauterizing them shut.

"We can't have you bleeding out, now can we?" Naruto tsked at him, before smiling widely. "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick."

"Jack jump over the candle stick. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick." Zaku breathed out, tears flowing freely.

"Jack never made it across the giant ravine." Naruto finished, confusing Zaku, before Naruto impaled Zaku with the giant shears, whistling a tune to himself as he walked away. His entire upper body was covered in blood, his eyes alight with madness. "Oh, this is going to be more interesting, isn't it?" He muttered to himself, before cackling out in mad laughter, heading towards his two teammates at the tower.

* * *

So, whatcha guys think? :D

-V


	9. The Preliminary Rounds

I hope you all have waited patiently for this story! In this chapter, the preliminary exams will...not be so preliminary. Normally they wouldn't be fighting to the death, but Naruto will decide to put his own rules in the exams to spice things up a bit!

-V

* * *

"Where's Naruto?" Kakashi asked, his eye narrowed as the smoke disappeared from the scrolls Kakashi popped out of. The door was kicked open, as the blood soaked mercenary strolled in, whistling a tune. His eye widened, as he, Sakura and Sasuke stared at Naruto with shock.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He giggled, the hot stickiness of the blood finally drying and clinging to his skin and clothes. "Glad you guys made it okay. Now I can tuck you into bed, like I promised." His lips stretched into a grin, before he scanned the surrounding room. "Huh, kinda bland. Where's the food table, or the other teams?"

"They're upstairs. This is the lowest floor and meeting ground. Now that we're all here, let's go, shall we?" Kakashi suggested with a light tone, although internally worried about what Naruto did out in the forest. The team traveled to the cafeteria, Naruto opening the doors with a flourished 'bang', all eyes turning on toward Team Seven.

"What the hell happened to him?" Choji asked, gazing at Naruto.

"No idea, but let's be glad that it wasn't us who he got that blood from." Kiba said, Team's Eight and Ten sitting at a table together. "It was from a foreign ninja, that's all I can pick up."

"And right you are, dog breath! It was a troublesome little Sound ninja that decided to sing me a melody." Naruto replied, ignoring how Hinata and Choji inched away from him. Shikamaru, Kiba and Shino remained wary, while Ino seemed almost excited to see him. He, along with Sasuke and Sakura sat down, the two teammates picking at their food while Naruto began to bite into a chicken leg with ferocity of a starved man. Soon two bones littered the plate, followed along with the remains of a T-bone steak.

"Dude, slow down. It's not going anywhere." Kiba remarked, watching the boy eat.

"While that may be true, I prefer to scarve down my meal, because who knows, it may be my last." Naruto explained, blood from his steak dripping down his lip. Ino dabbed it off with a napkin, Naruto nodding in thanks. "So, what's on the agenda, now that everyone's here?"

"No idea, Naruto. I think the Hokage's having everyone meet up in the arena and he will explain it there. It's going on in like thirty minutes so I suggest you shower." Shikamaru drawled out, eyeing the blood soaked boy.

"If you all insist." Naruto grumbled, getting up as he began to exit. He stopped, turning on his heel, "Wait a moment. Sasu-gay, where are our rooms?"

"Room 708." Sasuke replied, biting into his chicken.

"Thanks, duck butt." He nodded and turned away, grinning to himself as he heard the footsteps of one Ino Yamanka, following him. The two exited before Ino slammed Naruto up against the wall, their lips clashing. She didn't mind the coppery taste of blood that filled her mouth as her tongue snaked out and licked his lips. She pulled back, before dragging him to his room and stripping him of his clothing, throwing him in the shower. She stripped and joined, pinning him against the wall as their make out session resumed. The water ran red as it flowed down the drain, the blood being washed off from Naruto's body. "Well, that's...quite a welcome." He grinned.

"Anything for you, Whiskers." Ino purred out, her hands roaming his body before she grabbed a wash rag and began to wash his body, taking extra time on his manhood. She smirked as he began to harden, her hand stroking his shaft. "May I have a piece of candy? I've been a good girl." Her lip jutted out into a small pout, batting her big blue eyes.

"I suppose." Naruto teased, letting out a low groan as Ino's lips wrapped around the tip, sucking softly. Her hand gripped the shaft, stroking softly as she began to bob her head up and down. She took him deeper within her mouth everytime she went down, moaning softly. She eventually felt Naruto's hand grip itself within her golden locks, tugging slightly. The small jolt turned her on, her head bobbing faster as she took more of him into her mouth. She reached near the base, not being able to get the last half inch in, before Naruto shoved his cock into her mouth, electing a gag from her which apparently pleased him, for he did it again. She reached a hand down, rubbing her womanhood as her mouth was slowly being fucked by her lover. She fingered herself, speeding up with his rhythmic thrusts, gagging every so often, her eyes watering. He pulled back, before slamming into the back of her throat causing her to gag loudly and cough. She smiled as she reached her climax, Naruto sending his seed into her mouth. She swallowed greedily, sucking every last drop out of the tip. She soon pulled back with a small 'pop' and looked up at him. He pulled her up and kissed her deeply. "How much time do we have left?"

"Not enough for a proper fuck. So we'll shower and you can meet me in my bedroom later tonight, Whiskers." She whispered into his ear, tugging on his earlobe slightly. Naruto grinned before the two showered and exited, soon gathering with everyone else in the arena standing below the Hokage. "I wonder what this is gonna be about?" She questioned.

"Probably about the next part of the exams." Sakura answered, looking at Naruto. "Hey, where were you Naruto? Surely the blood didn't take that long to wash off?"

Ino's green eyes flickered with jealously, as she restrained herself from reaching over unexpectedly and snapping the pinkette's neck.

Naruto merely waved his hand in dismissal. "You're right, it didn't. But I had to make sure I was squeaky clean for the next blood bath!" He grinned, however was momentarily confused when Sakura didn't inch away or blanch in retrospect. She merely nodded, seemingly used to Naruto's erratic behavior.

"Keep it up, pinky. You'll regret it." Ino mumbled under her breath, only Naruto hearing her. His grin widened, the wheels turning in his head. He could potentially pit the two against one another, just to relax and watch the show. He cared for Ino, but he wondered how far she would go to keep him. He turned his attention back to the Hokage, who began speaking to the genin specifically.

"Most of you have made it out of the Forest Of Death, which is a good thing. However, since there are so many of you remaining, you all will be against one another in a preliminary rounds. After this, you all will have a month off to train and better yourselves, and then face off once more in a final battle to determine who will make Chunin or not. I'm proud of the Leaf ninja who have made it this far, of the Sand, and the Grass ninja. It seems that the Sound ninja however," The Hokage's eyes flickered to Naruto's, who merely whistled innocently, "have perished within the confines of the forest. Their Sensei as well, as perished, however, details of his death are unknown."

'_Orochimaru was their sensei, eh? Might have to pay the snake a visit and invite him down the rabbit hole!' _Naruto thought to himself, rubbing his hands together excitedly. It seemed that the snake would get a private audience with the jester, however, the snake would bust a gut laughing from the jester's jokes, as most did. Naruto's lips curved up into a grin, as he slowly plotted a plan within his head for the legendary Snake Sannin.

"If everyone will make their way to the stands, we shall hold the first preliminary match in fifteen minutes!" The proctor called out. "My name is Hayate, and I am the proctor for the preliminary rounds. You are to fight until one of you is unable to continue, is unconscious, or if I step in and call the winner. Understand?" Everyone nodded before Hayate broke out into a coughing fit.

"Oh, you don't sound so good. Do you need a cough drop?" Naruto asked with a small giggle.

"No no, I'm fine. Thank you." Hayate said after a moment, wiping the blood off on his jeans. He didn't miss the slight frown on Naruto's face whenever he declined his 'cough drop'. '_Creepy.' _The proctor thought before everyone's eyes turned to the board that displayed the names of the contestants. He turned slightly, seeing Naruto still standing there with a huge grin on his face. It appeared that the clown would be going up against Kankuro from the Sand.

"Oh shit. We can't let this happen, it would ruin the plan!" Kankuro hissed out.

"Shut up, Kankuro. Go down there and fight for the honor of the Sand." Gaara ordered.

"But Gaara, the plan!" Temari insisted

"I don't care about the plan. I want to see a fight, and Kankuro is up. So kindly go down there before I blast you down there." Gaara warned, his green piercing eyes staring at Kankuro.

"Alright, alright...geez." Kankuro muttered. The black clad wearing ninja from the Sand with War paint had no idea he was about to walk into an early grave.

* * *

So. What do you all think will happen to Kankuro? How will he fall? How shall Naruto demolish him? Find out, next time on Never Stop Smiling!

-V


	10. My Puppet is Better than Yours

Heh heh heh, hahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's get ready for the bloodshed and carnage within this chapter, shall we? I'm going to try to make this chapter solely on Naruto vs Kankuro, but I may include one more match, if I'm feeling up to it. Let's get to it, shall we?

-V

* * *

"Are the two contestants ready?" The proctor, Hayate asked as he gazed from Naruto to Kankuro. One was grinning like a mad man, while the other was frowning and staring at Naruto with discontent. Naruto nodded, licking his lips slightly while Kankuro gave a subtle nod. "Begin!" Hayate jumped out of the arena while Kankuro quickly unraveled the object around his back to reveal a puppet.

"You should have tried to stop me, freak! Now you don't stand a chance with Crow out on the battlefield!" Kankuro boasted, his lips curving up into a victorious grin, the puppet coming to life with the help of his chakra strings.

"Oh? I think I stand a fairly good chance, seeing as how I have my own puppet." Naruto replied as he pulled out a small scroll from within his coat pocket. Everyone watched with interest as he threw down the scroll, smoke filling the area. Crow moved cautiously towards the smoke, Kankuro on his guard, moving his fingers expertly. However, as soon as Crow closed in toward the smoke, a giant boxing glove attached to a spring launched out and slammed into Crow.

"What the hell?" Kankuro wondered, everyone watching as the smoke dissipated to reveal Naruto's mentor in wooden form, the pale hand holding onto a trigger which connected the spring to the boxing glove.

"Is...that his mentor?" Sakura questioned, looking up at Kakashi.

The cyclops nodded, eye narrowed in thought. "A replica of his mentor, anyways. I wonder what els e Naruto is hiding up his sleeve."

Kankuro maneuvered Crow to the side of Naruto and the psuedo-Joker, only for the wooden Clown Prince of Crime to whirl around and backhand Crow, before pulling out a revolver and aiming it at Kankuro, pulling the trigger. Everyone tensed up, only to relax slightly as a 'bang' flag popped out of the barrel. "Are you all about clowning around? If so, you should just give up. You're not fit to be a shinobi."

Naruto's grin seemed to match the grin on his puppet, as Joker pulled the trigger once more, the flag shooting out at an alarming rate, stopped as it embedded itself into Crow's eye, the puppet taking the hit for Kankuro. "Don't underestimate me. I have many more aces up my sleeve. For example." Joker rushed forward, the puppet laughing all the way as a purple and green smog escaped from his mouth, surrounding Kankuro. However, before any of the laughing gas could be inhaled by the puppet master, Crow inhaled it for him, effectively ruining Naruto's trap. "Oh, poo. Looks like it's up for plan B!" He let out a laugh, as he ran toward Kankuro and Crow, the Joker closing in dangerously fast.

"Shit, what's he up to now?" Sasuke wondered, eyes narrowed as he watched the psychopath continue to laugh.

"Whatever it is, it'll probably end in bloodshed." Sakura said in an exasperated tone, her left hand on her forehead.

"Now now, we should have more faith in our purple clad teammate." Kakashi said in an easy-going tone, only to sweat drop when his other students turned to look at him. "I'm sure Naruto can show restraint." Kakashi's statement was made void with what happened next.

Kankuro jumped back, Crow trying to catch up, only for the Joker puppet to latch onto Crow, opening it's mouth as it began to laugh, Naruto joining in after. "What the hell are you laughing at?!" Kankuro yelled, a vein protruding from his forehead. He was getting fed up with the clown's behavior. Naruto merely held up a small device, his thumb hovering over the red button. Kankuro's eyes widened as he tried to quickly pull Crow back, forgetting that the Joker was latched on tight. Naruto pressed the trigger, an explosion occurring which sent Kankuro flying into the wall, both puppets destroyed from the blast. Something came rolling out of the debris, landing near Kankuro. The boy rose to his feet, gazing down at the charred face of the Joker puppet, which opened it's mouth one last time, two knives shooting out and landing in Kankuro's leg and arm. The boy yelled kicking the head away which landed harmlessly near Naruto, whose grin merely grew. "You fuckin' clown! Why won't you just die?!" He quickly ripped out the knives, throwing them at Naruto.

"Because, it wouldn't be as much fun that way." Naruto replied, giggling before he deflected the knives with his crowbar. "Now now, that's not very nice. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" He slammed the crowbar down into his open palm, walking towards him calmly. "Now, mister ninja, I'm sure you don't want me to install the manners into you that your mother failed to do?"

"Fuck you!" Kankuro spat, rushing forward as he sent out a flurry of shots towards Naruto. Naruto was sent reeling back as one connected with his jaw, before Kankuro kicked him in the chest. Once the clown was on the ground the puppet user from the Sand quickly pinned him down, punching as fast as he could, watching in horror as the clown merely began to laugh. "Shut up. Shut up. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He reared his fist back, slamming it down into his opponent's face, realization dawning on him whenever the laughter finally stopped. He got up slowly, breathing heavily. "It's over proctor. He's knocked out."

Hayate nodded from his spot on top of the head of the statue that was present within the arena, and was about to call it whenever the body of Naruto disappeared in a cloud of purple and green smoke. "You may want to rethink that, Kankuro." Hayate muttered, looking down at the ninja from the Sand. Kankuro whirled around in surprise, jumping away whenever Naruto jumped out from underneath the ground, the crowbar narrowly missing his head.

"Oh c'mon. You were so close. Surely you don't want to try to beat my face in again?" Naruto asked, swinging the crowbar once more. "No? Alright, fine. My turn." Naruto rushed forward, kicking up dirt in Kankuro's eyes. Whenever the male was distracted, Naruto went to town, slamming his crowbar down upon Kankuro's head and body. The Sand ninja down, Naruto continued his assault. "So, as my mentor once said, 'What hurts the most? Side A? Side B? Overhead, or backhand?'" With each question, the crowbar rained down, Kankuro looking up through bleary eyes to see Naruto grinning like crazy. The clown dropped the crowbar, as he turned and started to walk away. "I do believe I'll let you live to see another day." Everyone that knew what Naruto was capable of breathed a sigh of relief, minus Ino and Gaara, both wishing to see bloodshed.

Kankuro got up to his feet, labored breathing as he wheezed, feeling like he had been spared. However, he would kill the clown and show him who was the best. He quickly pulled out a kunai and rushed forward, using the last of his strength to stab at Naruto who merely whirled around and aimed the boxing glove from before at him. Kankuro was sent flying, while Naruto whistled and walked towards him calmly. Kankuro was pinned down, Naruto pulling out his switchblade. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asked in terror, having no strength to fight him off.

"Showing you the joys of life." Naruto replied with a sick grin, before shoving the knife within Kankuro's mouth, electing a scream of pain from the male. He quickly dug the blade into the sides of Kankuro's lips, tearing skin that would later scar over to make the male permanently smile. His handiwork done, Naruto discarded the switchblade before he rummaged around in his pockets and pulled out a pie before slamming it into Kankuro's face. He got up, walking away as Kankuro began to scream, the pie having acidic properties, half of his face being corroded by the acid, forever maiming him. "I do believe I've won, proctor." Naruto remarked as he threw his head back and laughed, the medics rushing past him to get to Kankuro to save him.

* * *

So if Naruto had a Joker puppet, what do you think that Naruto did with the Joker's real body? And I decided to pay homage to the late Heath Ledger's incarnation of the Joker from the Dark Knight trilogy, and to Two-Face from the Batman universe. I do so hope you've enjoyed this chapter.

-V


	11. Sakura's developing crush

Well, welcome back to this lovely story. Joker, roll the disclaimers, will ya?

Joker: V owns nothing of Naruto. Anything or anyone related to Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. While I on the other hand belong solely to DC Comics.

* * *

"Well, that was interesting." Shikamaru said sarcastically, eyes wide with fear. After Kankuro had finished his screaming, everyone caught a glimpse of his new face, Choji even excusing himself to vomit. Hinata fainted, while Kiba growled at Naruto, Akamaru whining in fear. Shino remained stoic and calculating, while Ino seemed happy at what he did. Shikamaru didn't like the feeling he had in his stomach, but he had to ask. "Hey, uh, Ino?" Seeing her green eyes turn to him, he continued, "What's going on between you and Naruto?"

"We're dating." She replied simply, causing him to drop his jaw. "What? You act as if someone ran over your puppy." She shrugged and turned away, watching as Sakura and Temari went into the arena.

"I'm going to kill your teammate." Temari vowed, venom in her voice.

"As much as I would have liked that before, I can't allow you to do that." Sakura replied, tightening her gloves. Ino heard the response and bristled. Was the pink banshee really falling for _her _Naruto? She would have to do something about it. But not during the Chunin exams, it was too heavily watched by several elite jounin and the Kages. No, she would have to plan this accordingly.

"Pft, as if you can stop me. I'm one of the most powerful kunoichi from the Sand." Temari bragged, her teal eyes staring into Sakura's. "Now, let's cut the chit-chat so I can kick your ass." The proctor, Hayate signaled the start of the match and Temari quickly withdrew her fan from her back and unfolded it, sending out a gust of wind towards Sakura. Sakura raised her arms and ignored that the blades of air cut into her skin and outfit before she shook it off, charging Temari. The wind user from the Sand continued to send out various strengths of wind gusts, a mini dust tornado forming and heading towards Sakura, who shunshined out of the way.

"Where could she possibly have gone?" Temari muttered to herself, only to see a shadow above her, Sakura's leg descending towards her. She jumped out of the way, but not far enough for her fan to be saved. Sakura's chakra enhanced kick tore through the fan like a knife through hot butter, the metal handle breaking under the strength. "You bitch." She hissed out, taking one last look at her beloved fan before she threw it to the side, having to rely on her jutsu and hand-to-hand combat. But it seemed that Sakura was ahead of her, for she quickly created several bunshins that surrounded Temari. While they weren't solid, they served their purpose as the real Sakura rushed at her from behind, punching through Temari's small defense. Temari tried to block with her forearms, only for Sakura's enhanced punch to break through easily, sending the blonde flying and skidding across the ground.

Sakura calmly walked forward, determination in her eyes. "You're not hurting a teammate. I'll kill you before I let that happen." There was something in her voice that made Ino consider killing her once best friend then and there. What was it? Was it love? Was it admiration for Naruto? What the hell? Who did she think she was, talking about HER Naruto like that?

"Your teammate disfigured my brother!" Temari spat, rushing forward with a kunai as she quickly stabbed Sakura in the gut. Everyone froze except for Ino who grinned like mad, while Naruto stood off and watched, interest gleaming in his eyes. She dug and twisted the blade within the wound, electing a cry from Sakura. "So for that, I'm going to take his life. And you can't stop me." She whispered in her ear, grinning evilly.

"Y-you're wrong." Sakura wheezed out, surprising Temari as she headbutted her, before roundhouse kicking her. The kick connected with Temari's jaw as an audible crack was heard. Temari landed in a heap, struggling to get up. She managed to get to her knees before Sakura slammed her own knee into Temari's face, the female sailing into the wall and embedding herself within it, the hole being made hid her body just enough...but not the blood that seeped down from the cracks. No movement was made from Temari, as Sakura began to walk away, keeping the knife within her to slow the bleeding down. The pinkette made it to the medics who began to treat her, while another went to the hole and promptly threw up. Everyone knew what that meant, and it was quiet for a brief moment, the sound of a pin could be heard dropping. However the silence was broken by insane, maniacal laughter.

"It's not me." Naruto quipped, noting the looks cast his way. "My lips are sealed." He mimicked zipping his lips shut, while everyone turned and gazed down at the pinkette who burst out into laughter. She continued to laugh as the medics took her away, the laughter echoing down the halls. Naruto grinned before Ino growled and promptly headed towards Sakura's location, only for Naruto to stop her. "While I find it extremely cute that you're so jealous you could kill, just wait, alright? I'm sure she just has a silly crush." He held her tightly within his grasp, murmuring in her ear.

"But...but..." She trailed off, pouting as she looked up into his eyes. Naruto's gaze silenced her as she nodded and huffed, crossing her arms within a pout. The two watched as Temari's mangled and broken deceased carcass was removed from the hole, with Gaara grinning darkly at the bloodshed the pink one had caused. Besides Naruto, and his blonde, the pink one would get to live as well. Everyone else would die.

The next match between Hinata and Neji was pitiful, to say the least. The two didn't really trade blows, more like Hinata attacked and Neji blocked, whereas Neji attacked and Hinata was damaged. He spouted off some bullshit about destiny and how she was destined to fail and ended the match almost killing her, had it not been for the intervention of his sensei, Might Guy, Hinata's sensei, Kurenai, Kakashi and Asuma. Hinata then went into cardiac arrest and was rushed off to the ER, while Neji merely turned away. Naruto however had a new potential target to maim and scar forever. He so hoped he would match up against Neji soon. It would be so much fun!

Shikamaru had to go against a Rain ninja, with Shikamaru winning by using his Shadow Possession Jutsu.

Shino won against his match with Choji, the bug boy using...well, his bugs to drain Choji's chakra just enough to knock him out by a punch.

Kiba and Akamaru went up against Sasuke, with Sasuke demolishing the man/puppy duo.

Ino and Ten-Ten's match ended in a draw, the two knocking each other out.

Gaara's and Lee's match was interesting to say the least, with Gaara toying with Lee while the Green Beast beat the shit out of him for the first half of the match. By the second half, Lee was low on stamina and would have died had it not have been for his sensei. Lee escaped with a broken arm, his leg next on Gaara's list to break, followed by his head.

And so it seemed that at the end of the preliminary rounds, only the following would advance: Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Gaara, Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji. They had a month to train and hone their abilities. The next match up would be as followed.

Naruto vs Neji (Much to Naruto's delight)

Sasuke vs Shino

Shikamaru vs Sakura

Gaara would face the winner of Sasuke and Shino's match, and then the Chunin exams would end. It seemed however, that a certain serpentine like man had other plans. His eyes gleamed with interest at Naruto, before he vanished into the shadows, hoping the clown had considered his offer.

* * *

Short chapter is short, but I hope you all enjoy!

-V


	12. Tourists

Well, welcome back to this lovely story. Last time Sakura destroyed Temari (literally) and has went into a downward spiral of insanity. This chapter will involve the month break for training, along with Naruto meeting two of Joker's old...erm...acquaintances.

-V

* * *

Naruto backflipped with a cackle, throwing a few grenades towards his teammates, the pink and raven haired duo dodging the explosives before Sasuke attacked with his fire ball jutsu, while Sakura charged with a chakra enhanced fist. "C'mon Sasuke, surely you can hit me right?" Naruto landed and started to do a little jig. "Hit me with your best shot, fire away!" He ducked under Sakura's fist, watching as a tree strained under the impact, "Oh, you hit as hard as Bane!" He remarked with a wild grin, kneeing Sakura in the gut before slamming his elbow into Sasuke's face. His two teammates backed away from the psychotic clown mercenary, and were about to retaliate whenever Naruto simply sat down, his legs crossed.

"Uh, Naruto, what are you doing? We're in a fight!" Sakura deadpanned, her green eyes into mere lines. Her crush for the clown boy was growing, but she didn't need anyone finding out until the time was right.

"No, we were fighting. I am so dreadfully pooped. I'm done." Naruto replied childishly.

"So you give up?" Sasuke asked with a smirk. He reached up and wiped sweat away from his forehead, panting slightly.

"For now, yeah." Naruto shrugged, letting out a yawn before laying back and watching the clouds. He wondered what he was going to do while Ino was training for the one month break. He got up, exiting the training grounds as he began to walk through Konoha, his purple trench coat billowing behind him. Two figures watched from the shadows, a faint slithering sound surrounding them.

"Should we get him now?" A feminine voice asked.

"No! I wish to know what happened to J, but first we gotta follow this guy." Her companion replied. The two withdrew further into the shadows, a pair of green and blue eyes watching Naruto. They had heard of Joker's disappearance over six years ago, and they had come to investigate. Mainly, one female had come to rediscover her long lost love, the other following her best friend. It just wasn't as fun without the flying rat around.

XxXx

Ino stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her form, looking at herself within the mirror. Her hair was cascading down her back, the blonde locks damp and glistening with water. She blowdried her hair, styling it up within her normal ponytail, her blue eyes shining with boredom. She wanted something to do, but couldn't go anywhere near Naruto since they had the month off for training. She frowned before tapping a finger to her chin. "Oh! I know a type of training both me and Whiskers can enjoy." A impish grin crossed her face as she quickly got dressed, rushing out the door and toward Naruto's house.

"Hey, look. That girl is dressed up just like you!" The same feminine voice whispered.

"Why I oughta! She stole my look, stupid broad!" The friend reply, an obvious pout on her lips. The two followed Ino, watching as she was embraced by the male in the purple trench coat. The female's eyes widened before her already insane mind snapped just a bit more. Someone besides her was flirting with a man like the Joker? Only SHE could do that! Only her! She would show that hussy! But not now. She would wait until the time was right. The two retreated into the shadow once more, biding their time.

XxXx

"Now that's what I call training." Naruto remarked with a grin, sporting a hicky on his neck, two on his chest and another on his abdomen. Ino had bite marks covering her body, two dark hicky's on her inner thighs, the female panting slightly.

"Glad you enjoyed it, whiskers." She looked into his eyes, pecking his lips gently. "Sadly, I gotta go back to training."

"Can't you stay here and train with me? We'll add some jutsu." Naruto waggled his eyebrows, only for Ino to get out of bed and get dressed, leaving him pouting.

"Nu uh. Sorry, clown boy. Until next time." She blew him a kiss, jumping out the window and heading toward home, going to grab a few things. Unknown to Ino, someone there was waiting for her with the intent to smash her face into an unrecognizable pulp.

Naruto got up and stretched, heading toward the shower, the sound of slithering reaching his ears. He turned around and his eyes darted from side to side, seeing nothing except a few vines on the window pane. He shrugged and thought nothing of it, entering the shower while the vines began to move, snaking their way towards the male.

"Daddy, I'm home!" Ino called out, hearing nothing in reply. She shrugged, going up to her room to grab her extra kunai, missing the movement behind her. Entering her room grabbed her kunai, turning around only to jump back from the giant mallet that was descending toward her. "What the fuck?" She asked, her eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you?" She quickly drew some kunai, ready to fight her assailant.

The blue eyes met Ino's, her red lipstick making her mouth appear an angry frown. The lighting in the room made her white face paint appear even whiter. "Me?" She shook her head, reading her mallet again, as the bells on her hat jingled somewhat. "I'm Harley Quinn, and you're a wannabe!" Ino took in her appearance while she was saying this. This 'Harley Quinn' was dressed in a harlequin type outfit, complete with white face paint and a domino type mask. She lunged forward, swinging the mallet only for Ino to vault over and leg sweep her, causing the girl to land with a 'umph'. She quickly found the kunai pressed up against her throat, Ino glaring down at her.

"And what do you want, Harley?" Ino hissed out.

"I want Joker! Where is he? Does the male in the purple trench coat know?!" Harley demanded, quickly spraying water into Ino's eyes, kicking her off. Ino stumbled slightly, dodging Harley's punch, the two trading blows.

"Naruto? No, he doesn't know where this 'Joker' is." Ino retorted, knocking Harley's cap off to reveal the villain's blonde pigtails. "Holy hell, you look just like me!" Ino remarked.

"Correction, you look just like me! You stole my outfit design!" Harley shot back, the two rushing each other again. Ino sidestepped, only for Harley to grab her mallet and slam into Ino, the kunoichi breaking through the wall and toward the ground below. Harley watched from above, a smirk on her face before she jumped down after the female, intent on finishing the battle.

XxXx

Naruto stepped out of the shower, steam fogging the mirror as he dried off, getting dressed in his normal attire. He began to wipe the mirror free of the fog, finally taking note of the rather large vines behind him. Before he could move, the vine wrapped around his ankle and drug him downward, Naruto painfully hitting his chin on the sink on the way down. "Son of a bitch!" He cursed, being dragged out his door like some kind of horror movie, before being hung upside down, staring into the vibrant green eyes of his female assailant. Recognition flickered across his face before his lips stretched out into a grin. "Oh, it's only you, Poison Ivy."

Red lips turned upward before a green hand reached up and slapped Naruto across the face. "And how do you know that, sir?"

Naruto ignored the stinging sensation and threw his head back and laughed. "Simple. Mr. J told me that his beloved and her closest friend would come searching for him someday. Seems you finally caught up, huh? Sorry to tell you this, but," He quickly withdrew a knife and cut the vine, rolling to his feet before he aimed his gun at Poison Ivy. "Joker's dead."

She stepped back in shock, her eyes wide with fear. "W-what? He's dead?!"

"Yep. Killed him myself." Naruto stated proudly, his grin widening. "The new Clown Prince of Crime is in, while the other is grinning at the bottom of a lake. Now, I should probably ask you to leave, for I don't want to be cleaning up green blood out of this carpet. Would be such a shame." He chuckled, eyes alight with the intent to murder. However, before Naruto could take a step closer, the door burst open to reveal Harley, bleeding from her lip and sporting a rapidly swelling cheek.

"Harley, oh thank God!" Poison Ivy said revealed. Harley stood next to her, saying nothing as she watched Naruto. "I'm sorry to say, but Joker's dead." She said bluntly, not wanting to hide the truth from her friend.

"Really?" Harley spoke out softly, her eyes downcast. Her shoulders began to shake, prompting Ivy to console her friend.

"There there babygirl. Shhh." She cooed in Harley's ear, only for a painful sensation to enter her heart and the sound of laughter reaching her ears. She stepped back, the knife embedded within her chest as she began to grow weak in the knees. "H...Harley?" She wheezed.

"Is dead." 'Harley' replied, throwing off the hat and wiping off the paint to reveal Ino, grinning madly. She strolled over to Ivy and kicked her with enough force that it sent the female out the window, Naruto and Ino watching as the green plant user crumpled with a sickening 'splat' against the concrete below. She threw back her head and laughed, Naruto joining in afterwards. After they were done, Ino turned to Naruto and asked, "So who were they?"

Naruto grinned as he embraced his girlfriend, "Tourists. They seem to think that they can come to Konoha and attack it's citizens without the citizens attacking back. Heh heh." The two kissed, before Naruto asked, "So, you're keeping Harley's outfit?" He questioned.

"Of course, puddin'." Ino whispered in his ear, Naruto's eyes widening. How had she known that Harley had called the Joker 'puddin'? He wasn't able to ask any questions, for Ino decided to push him back onto the bed and kiss him roughly, initiating another round of sex.

* * *

Whatcha guys think? Bad? Good? Short? Long? Just right?

-V


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